Chip Chick
“…If her bio parents were still alive she wouldn’t even be around y’all right now.”
“I don’t think the issue is with her wanting to know her birth parents, but for how horribly she handled the situation.”
“Imagine two loving people and their children rescuing a child from abject poverty, giving them everything they could ever want and need; only to be shunned and threatened with a restraining order?”
“Becky was abandoned by her birth parents and then abandoned by the rest of their family who didn’t want to take on a child with health needs.”
“That type of thing can create huge issues and a disordered attachment style (basically, insecurity over whether people really love her.) I’m involved in foster care, and this type of thing is very normal.”
“Becky perhaps felt that she almost needed to abandon her adoptive family in order to prove that her bio family really did love her. A bit twisted, but I’m sure her emotions at the time were very, very intense.”
“This is why, in foster care, even when it is very messy and complicated, we usually try to make sure children have contact with bio family – so they don’t develop some fantasy of what their ‘real’ family is like and run off to them the first chance they get.”
“Did Becky act fantastically? No, she didn’t. But, being the only adopted child in your family and bi-racial too must not have been very easy. I’m sure she felt quite different a lot of the time.”
“She asked why you wouldn’t adopt and she got her answer. I’d leave it there.”
