He Uninvited His Girlfriend To Dinner With His Family Because She Didn’t Dress Modestly And Now He’s Asking The Internet If He Was Being Unreasonable

A 25-year-old man has been seeing his 24-year-old girlfriend for 3 years, and while his girlfriend did get to previously meet his immediate family, she never had the chance to meet his extended family members until recently.

Every month on a Sunday, his grandma throws a dinner party for the whole family at the estate where she lives.

So, for pretty much 3 years, his girlfriend never got invited to these family dinners up until this past December.

“This is because my grandmother would prefer to not have non-family and partners that haven’t been around for a while present,” he explained.

“When she attended in December, I got word that my grandmother didn’t approve of her choice of clothing and won’t welcome her back if she doesn’t dress better.”

“My aunt told me that grandma thought she dressed, “whorish”. Now I fully disagree and so did my family and my aunt.”

“My girlfriend was admittedly dressed slightly less conservative than the other women but I wouldn’t call what she was wearing immodest at all.”

Well, tomorrow is family dinner again at grandma’s estate, and he decided to ask his girlfriend if she could wear something much more conservative this weekend.

He really wants to avoid another issue with the family over how his girlfriend chooses to dress herself, so he thought it would be ok to check in on what she was wearing before Sunday.

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His girlfriend did let him see the dress she was planning on wearing and he thought it was even less conservative than what she had on back at the family dinner in December.

“I told her that what’s modest to her isn’t going to be what’s modest to an 89-year-old woman,” he said.

“I told her if she wanted to buy a dress I’d pay for it.” His girlfriend refused to wear a different dress, and they got into a fight over this.

Since his girlfriend wouldn’t give in, he let her know it “would be better” if she did not even come to the family dinner and then they could figure out something for the following dinner so she could attend.

“She then said she wasn’t getting a different dress and I told her that it’s best she not come and I’d go without her,” he continued.

“She told me I was being unreasonable and putting an old woman’s outdated views over her freedom.”

He doesn’t believe his girlfriend is right at all. He thinks he was being nothing but reasonable while trying to not upset his grandma for a second time.

Here’s what the internet had to say.

“If you want a future with somebody, stand up for them instead of just obliging by your family’s opinions.”

“If your grandma is judging her because she doesn’t want to wear a potato sack, that’s on grandma.”

LuluLucy-

“Yeah, this is silly. Old lady, Sunday dinner. You code switch for the day. You don’t dress however you want at every event; at work, you dress suitably for work, at home you wear your PJs; you probably don’t wear just PJs and crop top to the grocery store or church; you don’t wear a bikini to go skiing.”

“We wear different things for different contexts. Grandma’s Sunday dinner is s particular context—dress for it.”

Grace_Alcoc

“I agree with individual autonomy, but I feel the GF is being a tad dramatic. Why wouldn’t she want to do this extremely small thing to help her partner?”

hairylegz

“Jesus, I get your point but it’s one Sunday, a few hours out of a month with an 89-year-old woman. And as a feminist (I say feminist, but really pro-human rights for anyone especially the marginalized) I get the need to fight for your autonomy but it also won’t hurt to just wear longer sleeves or whatever.”

“I don’t think anyone has a right to dictate what anyone wears, especially women, but it sounds like she expects the same from everyone, if everyone else is more conservative than she was and she’s already weary of having people who haven’t been in the family for long, this is clearly a part of tradition, not sure if I’d call it formal but it’s treated as such.”

“She’s 89, it’s a bit too late to be trying to force a lesson. What’s the point of keeping your partner away from someone he doesn’t have much time left with (not to be morbid but it’s true)??

briecarter

“Maybe I’m underestimating the situation, but it doesn’t sound that different from going to an establishment with a dress code?”

“If roles were reversed and a boyfriend was told not to wear cargo shorts I doubt anyone would mind.”

Zatoro25

“My Chinese grandma is turning 90 this year and she is surprisingly liberal with women’s fashion. Other than that one time when I wore a see-through black shirt with a black bra on full display and a skirt that left nothing to the imagination, she’s never once made a comment on my very unconservative clothing choices.”

“She usually says things like, “oh if I were young and beautiful, I’d be showing it off too!”

emi_lgr

You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.

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