She Feels Like A Terrible Person For Not Enjoying The First Date That She Went On
Getting into the dating scene can be difficult. Even when a date goes well, there’s always the risk of not having the ‘spark’ everyone talks about.
A 22-year-old woman on Reddit made a post seeking advice on how to proceed after her first date with a guy she met on Bumble.
The date went well, and there were no scary red flags. Well, perhaps there was one red flag: she doesn’t really like the guy.
The anonymous Reddit user wrote about how she had never gone on dates before and was completely new to the dating scene.
“I look at all the couples and feel like I’m missing out on something,” she explained.
To make things a little easier on her social anxiety, she took to online dating and signed up for Bumble.
On the app, she met a “really nice guy” and ended up talking to him for a month before he decided to ask her out on a date.
Before their date, they continued to text and FaceTime each other. They ended up talking on FaceTime for four hours.
The young woman wanted to go out for a simple cup of coffee so that there wasn’t a ton of pressure on their meet-up. But he responded by saying he doesn’t like coffee and suggested they go out to dinner.
Rido – stock.adobe.com
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The user writes about how she was “dreading” the idea of going on her date the night before, but her friends said it was all due to nerves. Once the user got to the restaurant, she wasn’t all that thrilled.
“We ate and talked, and we already knew we had a lot in common,” she said. “However, I just didn’t feel happy. I didn’t feel excited to be there.”
The user explains how the hours kept going by, but it wasn’t one of those “time flies when you’re having fun” situations. There would be moments of awkward silence where one of them had to force some kind of conversation.
They sat at the table for over four hours when finally he asked her if she wanted to leave. He was very polite and ended up paying for their meal, offering her some dessert, and was even about to give her all of their leftovers to take home.
He expressed how he enjoyed their time together and that he would want to see her again soon.
The user explains how she’s frustrated because she didn’t feel a connection or spark between him and her. There was no special feeling. In fact, she really just wanted to go home and play video games the whole time.
“My face hurts from all the fake smiling,” she continued.
Now, the user does not know how to let him down gently. Her friends are encouraging her to be an adult and tell him straight that she does not see a relationship forming between them. But she is scared of how he’ll react and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“We had a lot in common, but I just didn’t feel happy to be there with him,” she concluded. “I feel like an awful person for this.”
Commenters took to the post and reassured the user that how she feels is totally normal. More importantly, that she shouldn’t feel guilty for there not being a connection between her and her date.
“It happens,” wrote one user. “Sometimes you just don’t ‘click.’ It’s no one’s fault.”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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