People Share The Necessary “Small Things” To Consider Before Deciding To Get Married
According to a Pew Research Center study, eighty-eight percent of Americans cited love as their top reason for getting married.
While this perception of marriage is undoubtedly beautiful, love can also blind people to the realities of a serious and lifelong partnership. Plus, with the extreme romanticization of couples through entertainment and pop culture today, it can be easy to forget about weighing important factors pre-marriage.
One Reddit user asked the online community to share the small and important things to consider that “most people usually ignore” before getting married.
Getting Along With Your In-Laws
“This is because, like it or not, they are going to be in your life. If a stranger says something unkind or prejudiced to you, you can simply ignore it and walk away. But not when it’s your in-laws.”
“My in-laws treated me like an outsider through my eighteen-year marriage. It made me feel like I was not part of the family that I married into, and like there was very little support for us.”
“They would even give us excuses to not visit them. I have no idea why to this day.”
Igor – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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Considering Your Partner’s Past Relationships
“A lot of people think that their partner’s past relationships do not matter. This is true to a certain extent. But, in my opinion, I think it is important to know the type of dynamic my partner had with previous women.”
“If a guy says that all of his ex-girlfriends were crazy, then either he is a bad judge of character, or he was the problem.”
“I wish people would pay more attention to this. Either it is poor judgment, or they mistreated their past partners and decided that their entirely reasonable reaction to being hurt was them being crazy.”
Being Real About Finances
“People like to romanticize the whole ‘money does not matter if we love each other’ thing. But, it will definitely matter.”
“Saving behavior, investment mindset, debt, spending habits, what your partner considers whats versus needs– all of this will affect you in some way.”
Their Everyday Reaction To Your Presence
“Do they look up at you when you enter a room? Do they smile? Or, do they ignore you?”
“Because I am telling you that ten years of being ignored drains your soul.”
“I know a couple who does not have this, and I don’t see them lasting. He does not seem to enjoy her presence. He doesn’t smile when she enters the room and seems annoyed whenever she speaks.”
“I’m like, do you even like her? Why are you with her? Poor girl deserves better.”
Do You Enjoy Similar Pastimes?
“How do you each like to spend your downtime? Do you share hobbies or like the same types of shows and movies? Or do one of you love to read in the quiet while the other loves to do crafts while they blast music?”
“It is important to make sure that you can comfortably coexist together. It does not sound like a big thing. But, it will become a big deal really quickly if the way one partner enjoys their downtime prevents the other partner from enjoying theirs.”
Have You Seen Your Partner Under Pressure?
“Do not marry someone until you have seen them stressed; until your relationship has been stressed.”
“That is how I knew my husband was the one! Our car got stuck in a snowstorm, and we both worked really well together to problem solve.”
“In my previous relationship, it would have somehow been my fault. We would not have gotten the car out until after a thirty-minute scolding about how stupid or irresponsible I was.”
Have You Traveled Together?
“Travel together for at least a week. I know that ‘travel’ may sound grand as it requires a considerable amount of planning and finances. But, hear me out.”
“A quick way to gauge all of the small things is to share personal space in a place that is outside of both partners’ comfort zones. And, a vacation is different than cohabiting because you are both away from familiar personal items and routines; it forces both of you to ‘unmask.'”
“Is the toothpaste cap on or off? How do they treat wait staff? How do they deal with stress when things go slightly off-plan? Are they a stickler for routines, or are they more chill? The list can go on and on.”
Have you considered these factors before committing to a serious relationship or marriage? What other things should hopeful couples take into consideration before tying the knot?
To read the complete Reddit thread, visit the link here.
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