Her Mom Hasn’t Supported Her Dreams of Going To Medical School, So She Doesn’t Want Her At Her Graduation
Everyone has those big life moments and events that they want to share with their family and those who have supported them through the journey.
But sometimes there are those people that only have negative things to say.
A 22-year-old woman finished her undergrad program and was applying to med schools and a graduate program.
Though she applied a little late, she got wait listed for the med schools and got accepted to the grad program.
She called her mom after an interview for one of the programs and updated her on what she was leaning toward as her next step.
Her mother was against her going to grad school and went on about how she wasn’t good enough.
She then went on to say, “you should just stop trying to go to medical school and work since you’ve failed already.”
When she said that, I stopped her immediately and said “I’m not having this discussion with you. I’m hanging up. Bye.” And I hung up.” she said.
She decided not to talk to her mother the rest of the week, and apparently, her mother ignored her birthday as well.
contrastwerkstatt – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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A couple of days before she posted about her situation, her mother called her and very blatantly asked, “What’s your problem?”.
Now if it were me and my parent that said this, I wouldn’t even continue the conversation.
She responds that she is fine and that she doesn’t want to talk about it, because she doesn’t want to say something she’ll regret.
So what could have been a quick talk, turned into a 20-minute conversation.
First, she expressed that her mother’s comment about her being a failure hurt. She denied she ever said it.
Then she called her daughter disrespectful, and that she had nothing to apologize for since, “she did nothing wrong”.
“I told her she started my disordered thoughts with eating leading to an ED because she’s commented on my weight and size since middle school (I’ve never been more than a size 6). She said this was normal behavior for families,” she explained.
The next thing that her mother brought up wasn’t even related to what they were talking about. Her mom asked if she should get a divorce from her father.
And finally, her mother claimed that she wasn’t even listening, and would keep cutting her off whenever she tried to speak.
She finally told her, “If this is how it’s going to be, I don’t want you at my graduation.”
“It ended with her telling me she’ll cancel everything for my graduation and keep the rest of my family & friends from coming” she continued.
“It was emotional and impulsive and I don’t know if I did the right thing or was justified in my actions, so I’ve come here for judgment.”
It’s situations like these that make me glad that my mother has been nothing but supportive in all my choices.
She added an edit thanking people for their words and advice.
Someone in her comments actually put some helpful questions together. “Is she going to give you what you want and need, and with that answer what is your next move?”
“If the answer is no, but you want a relationship with your mom write an apology letter from her yourself, say everything you which she would, then you won’t have festering resentment coming through all your body language when you do talk to her, What it comes down to is you can only control yourself and your own actions,” she advised.
Now, this is actually relatively similar to my relationship with my birth father. What I’ve done personally is have low contact with him and that side of the family. And honestly, my life is the better for it.
If this was how your relationship with your family was, how would you have reacted?
You can read the original Reddit post here.
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