She Snapped At Her Father, Who Has A Brain Injury, For Repeatedly Making Her Daughter Uncomfortable During Play Time
This twenty-four-year-old woman has a disabled father who, unfortunately, has no frontal lobe.
Instead, his frontal lobe actually had to be removed about ten years ago due to a large brain tumor. And it was extremely challenging for her to watch and experience that period of her father’s life as a child.
But now that she is an adult, she has a two-year-old daughter herself. And she believes that her parents treat her daughter very well, for the most part.
“Both my mother and father are better grandparents than they ever were parents,” she said.
Nonetheless, her father has recently been behaving in a way that makes both her and her daughter super uncomfortable.
For context, she enforces a strict rule in her household which states that no one is allowed to touch her daughter if her daughter says no. And even though this rule sometimes offends older, more traditional relatives, she does not care– because she wants her daughter to know that you always have control over your own body.
“This is due to my own trauma, and most people are chill about it. Except for my dad,” she explained.
In fact, her dad will often scare her daughter by tickling her, grabbing at her shirt, and chasing her throughout the house.
But even if her daughter says, “Papa, stop!” and she tries to correct her father’s behavior, the resistance only seems to edge him on.
annanahabed – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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So, he will continue pushing and pushing to tease her daughter. This makes her very upset as a mother and makes her daughter super confused as to why her grandfather is being a bully.
However, a recent incident just last week finally pushed her over the top.
She invited her parents to stop by to pick up some groceries, and, within just a few minutes of being there, her father had already scared her daughter numerous times “in an attempt to play with her.”
So, after she heard her daughter scream “Stop!” repeatedly from the kitchen, she dropped all the groceries and ran into the living room. And what she found was utterly disheartening.
Apparently, her father was towering over her daughter while she tried to hide in a crack in the couch. Her daughter had her palm up, telling him to stop, but her father just kept laughing.
“I don’t think I have ever really ‘seen red’ until today. My vision blurred, and I pushed past him to pick up my daughter. And I told him, ‘You are going to stop when my baby says stop, or I WILL stop you,'” she recalled.
After that, her mother tried to step in and de-escalate the situation. Her mom also explained to her father that she is trying to teach her daughter it is okay to say “no,” and that people should listen.
But, her father had virtually no reaction to the entire event. Instead, he continued laughing and said it was funny that his granddaughter thought papa was a “scary monster.”
So, she could not take it anymore and told her father off.
“I said that he IS a scary monster and that he needed to leave her alone or he won’t be welcome in my home anymore,” she vented.
Afterward, her parents eventually left, and she calmed down a bit. But then, her mother called and asked her to be more patient with her father since he has virtually no control over his actions.
She is sick of receiving the same call, though, and believes she gets the same lecture anytime she tries to set a boundary with her father. Plus, she never wants to see her daughter that terrified again.
At the same time, though, she does not want to have to ban her father from her home since it would undoubtedly wreck her mother.
So now, she has been left totally confused. She is not sure if sticking up for her daughter was the right thing to do or if snapping at her father for something he could not control was wrong.
How would you have navigated this challenging situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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