She Really Wants To Spend This Christmas Alone With Her New Wife, But Knows This Is Going To Be A Problem Because Her Mom Wants To Spend Christmas With Her And Hates Her Wife
A 27-year-old woman just got married to her 27-year-old wife a year ago. Now, she comes from an enormous family, and everyone is super close.
Her own mom and dad are divorced, so when she was little, she spent every holiday morning with one of her parents, and then for the afternoon, she would switch.
Her mom and dad always dragged her around to see different family members, so every single holiday turned into an enormous production that left her utterly wiped out.
Since becoming an adult and moving 2 hours away from her hometown, it still is exhausting for her around the holidays, as on top of everything, she has to factor in a 4-hour round-trip drive.
In contrast, her wife’s family is tiny and does not really do a lot for the holidays at all.
“This is the last year before my wife and I start planning to expand our family, and whatever our plans for the holidays are, I want to spend them with her,” she explained.
“We’ve never gotten a full Christmas alone together (minus one year our town flooded and we were stuck at home waiting for evacuation notices), normally she goes to her Grandmother’s house, and I go visit my parents and then we have dinner together.”
“This year, I want to spend the whole day with her, maybe invite her grandmother or my dad for dinner. My mother is not a fan of this plan. She wants me to ditch my dad’s family and my wife’s family, spend the entire day with her, and leave my wife out of it because “all she wants for Christmas this year is for me to come home.”
She’s pretty sure her mom is just miserable and looking to have her home because her stepsister recently moved away and lives further from home than she does (and is not coming home for the holidays).
NDABCREATIVITY – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Her mom absolutely hates her wife and always asks her not to discuss her wife at all. In fact, her mom acts like her wife does not even exist. It breaks her heart, but her mom was raised to be ultra-conservative, and so she is aware that her upbringing has caused her to be so close-minded.
“I have a feeling that when her parents die, I might be able to get through to her,” she said. “Or when my wife and I have kids because my mom and her husband want grandkids very badly.”
“We were very close at one point, and then she formed this fictional opinion of my wife in her head that she’s so wrapped up in she can’t see the wonderful person my wife really is. I want to refuse her offer of going home for the holidays, but I also don’t want to damage the relationship I have with her further. I love my mom, even if she’s an a******, and I believe she can change for the better.”
She used to be super close to her mom, and her mom was the one who always supported her in being herself. It’s taking a toll on her that her mom does not understand that she is interested in starting her own family, so her life can no longer revolve around her.
She’s left wondering if it would be mean of her to set boundaries with her mom this year and spend Christmas alone with her wife.
Do you think it’s ok for her not to do what her mom wants her to do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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