Her Mom Is Very Overbearing And Contacted Five Of Her Friends After She Didn’t Answer Her Phone Within One Hour, So Now She Is Not Sure How To Tell Her Mom That She Went Too Far

nenetus - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
nenetus - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This thirty-year-old woman’s mother, who is sixty-six, has always been quite close to her and her older sister– who is thirty-five. Her mom normally reaches out to share news and just catch up on a daily basis.

So, she is used to talking to her mom often, and it really does not bother her. Sometimes, though, she and her sister do feel like her mom is almost too present or inquisitive about their lives.

For instance, she detailed how talking to her mom is sometimes like playing “twenty questions.”

“She asks us what we are doing today and if we work from home or are going to the office if we have lunch alone or with colleagues. And when we answer or send a picture, she asks even more questions,” she explained.

And honestly, she finds the constant questioning really suffocating. To her, it feels like her mom either wants or needs to know every single thing she is up to on a daily basis.

So, she and her sister have actually talked to their mom about this in the past– telling her that the questioning is simply too much.

But, according to her, her mom downplays the issue– claiming to just be interested in her daughters. Then, a few days later, the cycle will repeat itself again.

“And she takes offense when we say it more harshly,” she added.

Since this is a recurring issue in their relationship, she has also reflected on some factors that may be causing her mom’s overbearing behavior.

nenetus – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Primarily, she believes that her mom was raised that way since her grandmother was also very inquisitive.

So, her mom constantly wants to know what her children and grandchildren are up to– checking a map whenever they go on vacation and keeping up with all of their day-to-day travel plans.

She also thinks that her mom’s interest in her life might stem from the fact that her father is a bit boring.

According to her, he is constantly on his computer, has no friends, and never participates in any social activities.

Plus, this has reportedly gotten even worse since her parents retired. So, her mom attempts to fill up life with as much as she can– such as movies, exhibitions, and painting sessions.

But she also believes that her mom is trying to live through herself and her sister. And she finds that it can become very oppressive.

Just a few weeks ago, for example, she recalled how her sister was traveling home from a long trip overseas, and her mother would not stop quizzing her sister in their WhatsApp group chat.

“‘Have you boarded yet? No? But why? Is it because of the police control or the luggage check-in? I saw on FlightAware that you are twenty-seven minutes late. Are you at the front of the plane again? Oh, the first row of the economy class? Are you comfortably seated?'” her mother rattled off.

And after receiving that influx of messages, her mom started to drive her crazy– even though she was not the one being spoken to.

More recently, though, her mom’s obsession with knowing every detail of her life caused some major drama. And it all began this past weekend.

On Sunday, she decided to invite both of her parents to have lunch and spend the afternoon at her place. Everything went great, too.

But then, on Monday afternoon, she received a call from her mom– who wanted to ask her a casual question. So, she answered quickly but only stayed on the phone briefly.

Later that evening, she also decided to call her partner– who had been away for a few days– and talk for nearly two hours. After hanging up with her partner, though, she realized that her mom had been blowing up her phone.

In fact, her mom had attempted to call her six times between 8:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. She also had three text messages on WhatsApp, asking if she was okay or if she wanted her mom to “come over.”

“I was dumbfounded. What do you mean, ‘come?’ She really wanted to come to my place at past 10:00 p.m. to check on me because I didn’t answer the phone for one hour?” she vented.

So, while still in shock, she replied back to her mom and revealed that she was completely fine– she had just been on the phone.

Right afterward, though, she received a call. And surprisingly, it was not her mom, but instead a good friend and colleague of hers.

Honestly, though, she was pretty worried hearing their voice– since it was a very unusual time for her friend to be calling.

It turned out, however, that her friend had actually been really worried about her. Apparently, her mom reached out to her friend and claimed she could not find her.

So, as you can imagine, she was completely embarrassed. And after telling her friend that she was completely fine, she asked her mom if she had really just worried a friend because she did not pick up the phone for one hour.

Rather than seeing how ridiculous that is, though, her mom just responded “yes” as if it were totally normal. And that really infuriated her.

Still, the situation did not end there. On Tuesday morning, she received yet another message from another friend and colleague who reached out to see if she was okay. Lo and behold, her mother had contacted that friend on Instagram as well.

Then, she later found out her mom had also reached out to her partner, her ex, and her sister. So, essentially, her mom texted five people that night– and it’s really bugging her.

“I feel deeply upset that she breached into my circle of friends and worried them about literally nothing. And I don’t know how to tell her how I am upset,” she revealed.

On Tuesday evening, her mom did claim that she “couldn’t help but feel anxious” whenever there was no communication. Then, the day after that, her mom asked if she was “sulking” because she did not provide any news.

The following morning, though, her mom returned to texting her a bunch of questions as if nothing had happened.

However, her mom did claim to not feel well after Monday evening and said they really needed to talk.

So, she called and had no clue how to bring up the topic, so she didn’t. To her surprise, though, her mom decided to actually break the ice.

Apparently, her mom detailed how she hadn’t been sleeping well and suggested that perhaps that was why she was more worried than usual. And after hearing that, she told her mom to consult a doctor.

Her mom declined to answer that point, though, and kind of pushed the blame back on her again. More specifically, her mom said, “If only you had given any news.”

So, she kind of had enough at that point and decided to finally be honest. She told her mom that she had been on a call and that she refused to warn her mom before every call with her boyfriend.

She also claimed that her mom was the one who must learn not to worry when there is absolutely no reason to, and she admitted that she hated how her mom tried to guilt her.

Now, she claims that after that, her mom seemed to understand that the situation had gone way too far. Honestly, though, she is not really ready to bury the hatchet.

“I feel that she crossed a line, and something has to change now. She needs therapy, in my opinion, to feel better about herself and not rely on my sister and me to feel good,” she said.

In turn, she has now been left wondering how to approach the situation and finally tell her mom to get the help that she needs without feeling uncomfortable or guilty.

Have you ever dealt with an overbearing parent? Do you think she took a step in the right direction by laying down a boundary on that final phone call with her mom? How else can she make it clear exactly what changes are needed in their relationship?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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