She Was Uncomfortable With Her Roommate’s Boyfriend Visiting Their House So Often And Being Disruptive, So She Asked Her Roommate To Stop Having Him Over, But It Started Some Drama

sergiophoto - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
sergiophoto - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 27-year-old woman has two roommates– Alice, who is 29, and Janet, who is 28.

Janet also has a 28-year-old long-distance boyfriend named Josh, who recently started visiting their home about once a month.

Now, even though Josh stays between five and eight days every single time he visits, she claims that neither she nor Alice knows him very well– because apparently, he just does not like interacting with them.

“This in itself already makes Alice and me a bit uncomfortable, as we essentially have a fourth unfamiliar male roommate 25 percent of the time,” she said.

On top of that, Janet and Josh reportedly stay home all the time, are very loud, and take up a lot of space– which is not how her roommate normally is.

Apparently, when Josh is away, Janet is normally a quiet, clean, and respectful roommate. But whenever Janet’s boyfriend arrives, all of that changes. The couple will loudly cook in the kitchen, blast television shows in the living room, and talk at full volume.

“Josh will also often take work calls in the living room with no headphones on. And Alice’s room is the closest to the common areas, so she has asked them multiple times to keep it down,” she added.

To Janet and Josh’s credit, though, the couple is relatively quiet during “quiet hours.” Still, her room shares a wall with Janet’s, and their bedroom doors are right next to each other.

So, she claims that she can hear literally everything they do inside Janet’s bedroom– from watching Netflix and talking to even when they are intimate with each other. And honestly, she finds that pretty traumatizing.

sergiophoto – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

“I’m being dramatic,” she joked before saying that it’s really no fun at all for her.

Recently, she and Alice even got so frustrated that they decided to have a talk with Janet. First, they brought up how Janet and Josh could be quieter in the common areas, and she claimed that her roommate understood that.

Then, she brought up a touchier topic and revealed how she was a bit uncomfortable with how often Josh was around. She also asked Janet if her boyfriend could visit every other month instead. Or, if Josh had to visit every month, just shorten his stay to two or three days.

And at that point, Janet reportedly exploded on her and Alice. Apparently, Janet claimed that the trip would not be worth it for Josh since he takes a 45-minute flight each way.

Janet also pointed out how she and Josh had agreed to see each other every single month.

That prompted her other roommate Alice to start proposing some other compromises. For instance, Alice suggested that Janet go to visit Josh at his place sometimes. Or, the couple could get away and travel somewhere new together.

Janet totally shot down those ideas, though, and claimed that she was “too poor” to do that. Plus, Janet reportedly wanted Josh to keep visiting since he always paid for his own flights.

So, they were left brainstorming about other options– such as timing Josh’s visits for when she and Alice were away or having Josh stay at a hotel.

Despite her and Alice’s efforts, though, Janet just kept refusing all of their suggestions. This forced her and Alice to drop the conversation there, but it was clear that the drama was far from over.

In fact, right afterward, they could hear Janet slamming cupboards and doors in the kitchen– something her roommate only does when she is really angry.

So, she has felt pretty torn about the situation ever since. On the one hand, she knows that being in a long-distance relationship is difficult, and she does feel bad about trying to restrict how much time Janet spends with Josh.

“But on the other hand, I feel like I should have a say in who gets to be in my home. Josh visiting has made Alice’s and my living environment very uncomfortable, and I dread every time Janet announces he is coming to visit,” she vented.

Anyway, now, she has been left wondering whether asking her roommate to stop having her boyfriend over so much makes her a real jerk or not.

Do you think it is fair for her and Alice to have to live with Josh so often, especially because they barely know him? Were the compromises she and Alice suggested to Janet reasonable? Why do you think Janet is so opposed to finding a solution? How would you reconcile this situation? 

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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