Katharina Buczek
What I mean by this is that no two people or situations are the same. So, it is a disservice to yourself and those around you to enter circumstances with prejudgements or expectations based on past events.
Your new boyfriend or girlfriend may completely shock you. They may be ultra-present and thrive on interpersonal communication. Or, they might not.
Either way, it is impossible for you to control the situation. So, learn from your past experiences and leave any negative thoughts at the door.
Stop thinking, “Well, what if they hurt me like I’ve been hurt in the past?” or “What if my time is wasted again?” These limiting beliefs are only preventing you from exploring new experiences. They are only controlling you, not the actual outcome of a possibly lovely new opportunity.
It takes a lot of self-awareness to stop allowing fear, anxiety, and negativity from crippling you. But, if you constantly confront your limiting beliefs with the idea that your past does not correlate to your future, you can start to make real changes.
3. Start Letting Go And Feel Gratitude For The Journey
On top of self-awareness, and a bit of mindset work, saying goodbye to your control freak tendencies will also require something that seems very counterintuitive to how you have functioned your whole life. You have to learn to just let go.
For some people, the idea is paralyzing. They cannot imagine going into a situation “blind” (or without overthinking it ten times over). I get it.
But, sometimes, you just have to muster up the willpower to essentially “flick a switch” in your mind and stop worrying.
Now, it will not always be this easy. However, in the meantime, you can try to catch yourself when you engage in catastrophizing behavior.
For instance, do you try on eight different outfits before work in the morning– worrying about what you look like, or rather, how you will look to others? If so, catch yourself, and stop yourself in your own tracks. Pick out an outfit the night before, or stick to a few staple pieces that you always feel good in. Cut out the “worry time” you engage in every morning, and start plunging straight into your day.
