Is It Ever Ok To Ask Someone To Change Their Appearance For Your Wedding Day?
If someone asked you to describe your ideal wedding on the spot, you would probably be able to blurt out a bunch of your “must haves” immediately. That’s because, like it or not, we all tend to idealize marriage.
And when it comes to our own future nuptials, we usually have a pretty solid vision of our “perfect day.”
This idea of perfection doesn’t just pertain to venues, caterers, flowers, or music, either. It also extends to how we picture everyone involved– from our bridal party to our guests– looking on our big day. Do you envision a black-tie event? Or a bohemian beachy vibe?
Either way, you can probably picture the kinds of dresses, hairdos, and makeup you want your bridesmaids to wear.
While it can be fun to fantasize about the overall look of your entire guest list, though, this very idea brings up a serious topic of debate: is it ever okay to ask someone to change their appearance for your wedding day?
The honest answer is that it’s complicated. On the one hand, it’s completely understandable why some couples might want everyone in their wedding party to look a certain way.
After all, their wedding photos will be cherished for decades to come, and having everyone look cohesive can help create stunning visual memories.
At the same time, though, it’s crucial to remember that every person in your wedding party is an individual who has their own sense of style and preferences.
And asking them to drastically change their appearance can add unnecessary stress and perhaps even resentment. So, when is it actually okay to ask for an appearance change? Well, the answer is simple. You should only do this when your request is small and reasonable– meaning that it will not cause any additional stress or a big financial burden.
Andriy Petrenko – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
For instance, it is totally fine to ask your bridesmaids to wear a specific color or even a specific dress style on your big day. This is a very common example of a reasonable request– similar to asking groomsmen to wear a certain suit or tie style.
But keep in mind that aside from your guests having personal appearance preferences, they may also have budget limitations.
So, before you make any requests for brand-new outfits or specific professional makeup looks, be sure to take everyone’s financial limitations into consideration and be open to compromise.
Now, when it comes to more significant appearance changes– like asking someone to get a drastic haircut or dye their hair a different color– this is a completely different ballgame.
I am not saying you can’t ask this of your bridesmaids but be warned that these requests need to be approached extremely delicately. At the same time, you have to be prepared for your bridesmaids to say no and be accepting of that.
While it is completely okay for you to express your vision for your wedding day and share that with your bridal party, you have to always keep in mind that it’s ultimately up to each individual to decide whether or not they are comfortable with making a drastic change.
And to keep this in perspective, try to remember that, at the end of the day, your wedding is supposed to be about celebrating family, love, and commitment– not appearances.
So, prioritize open communication and don’t forget to adapt and compromise. By being open-minded, it really is possible to have a beautiful and cohesive wedding without having drastic appearance requests.
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