Her Boyfriend Met A Girl On A Dating App That Wasn’t Into Him, Yet They Stayed Friends, And She’s Feeling Insecure About Their Friendship
This 27-year-old girl has a 31-year-old boyfriend that she has been with for the last 3 years. Now, back when they first started dating, she admits that she was extremely insecure and had a hard time trusting him.
One thing that really made it hard for her to trust her boyfriend came down to a girl he met on a dating app that he became super close to.
This pretty much resulted in her giving him an ultimatum; he could continue dating her, but only if he stopped stop talking to this female friend of his he met on a dating app.
Her boyfriend had this female friend before she came into the picture, but she was really bothered by their friendship.
“This was a girl that he would normally Facetime at 3 a.m., he would text her only when he was at work (to hide it from me since he knew I wasn’t ok with it), and she was a person that he would go to when he needed to talk to someone,” she explained.
Her boyfriend accepted her ultimatum and stopped being friends with this girl to make her happy and continue dating.
She then decided to go to therapy, which has helped her insecurities and issues. She does want to allow her boyfriend to “be himself,” and so she hasn’t tried to force him to do anything since that issue early on in their relationship about his friend.
She has spoken to her boyfriend recently about not wanting to control him so much, and he took that to mean that he’s allowed to go back to being friends with the girl she had a problem with.
“In my defense, the only reason they did not date is that SHE didn’t want to; and he was content with keeping her as a friend rather than losing her completely,” she said.
Andrey Kiselev – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“To me, that doesn’t change the fact that he was (and maybe even still is?) physically attracted to her. This makes me very uncomfortable and creates a lot of anxiety over something potentially happening between them in the future.”
Interestingly enough, her boyfriend has never met this female friend of his in real life; their friendship has existed exclusively over the phone. Despite never meeting this girl in real life, her boyfriend really has a big connection with her, yet he claims not to be romantically interested in her at all.
Her boyfriend swears that she shouldn’t be concerned about him rekindling this friendship, and he tried to reassure her that he only wants to date her and does love her.
Although her boyfriend has tried to allay her fears several times, she is having a tough time forgetting about the fact that he used to hide the conversations he had with this girl and also used to lie about speaking to her. She wishes she could trust her boyfriend, but she’s terrified of getting her heart broken or losing him to this other girl.
“The topic of this girl came up again because we had gotten into a really big fight, and he basically said he wanted to end things out of anger and then called her because he said he needed someone to talk to at the moment,” she continued.
“I only came to find out about this because I saw her name on his phone notifications the next day when we were able to talk and work things out. The fact that after 3 years of not talking to her, he runs to her for “friendly support” the moment that it seems we’re about to break up is a huge red flag for me, but I also know that I am VERY controlling and don’t want to continue to be that way.”
What do you think; do you think her boyfriend’s friend is something more and she should be worried about her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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