A Guy She Just Started Seeing Wants Her To Lose Weight, And He Even Told Her That’s Why He’s Unsure About Committing To A Relationship With Her
This 24-year-old woman has been out on a few dates with a new guy, who is 29. They met online, and ever since they have gotten to know each other, she feels like he is really easy and comfortable to be around.
He has even slept over at her place, too, and has seen her entire body. Yet, out of the blue, he messaged her just yesterday and claimed that her weight was the reason why he was unsure about committing to a relationship.
For context, she detailed how the guy never said anything about her weight before that message. So, even though she suffers from body image issues, she actually felt really great about herself because it seemed like he genuinely liked her the way she was.
“We had some conversations about my mental health, and he was so kind and understanding,” she recalled.
She also made sure to include a variety of photos on her dating profile. Some were older, but they showcased her hobbies; meanwhile, the recent photos she included showed her current weight since she gained weight over the past couple of years.
As for why her weight even came up in conversation yesterday, she was actually starting to consider taking a break from dating apps to allow their relationship to progress. That’s why she decided to text the guy and ask if they should stop dating other people.
However, his text message response was just plain shocking.
“Okay, I thought about your question. Actually, I was planning to talk to you about a thing. I don’t want to make you upset, and I was thinking about how to explain myself,” the guy began.
“Your Hinge pictures are old ones. Normally, I care about that, but I preferred to know you first, and I like you. You are so friendly and understanding, and you have a very good heart, which is valuable to me. I am looking for a serious relationship and then marriage with the right person,” he continued.
_KUBE_ – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“And I want only one thing for your health and for our future. It’s losing weight. It wouldn’t be easy, but it’s really good for your body and mental health.”
Now, to say that message was devastating to receive would be an understatement. She could not believe her eyes after reading it, and now, she has no idea how she could ever come back from that.
She revealed how she did want to be more healthy and has even been working with a therapist to improve her relationship with both her body and food.
However, she realizes that health depends on more than just her weight. She is also at a point where starting to count calories would be detrimental to her mental health progress. And regardless of what she weighs, she simply did not think the guy’s comments were appropriate whatsoever.
“He says it doesn’t have to be immediate, but that still feels like it puts a condition on this relationship that I’ll never live up to,” she vented. “And even if I do lose weight, it has nothing to do with him. It would be for me.”
Anyway, now that she knows what the guy truly thinks about her, she feels like she will never want him to see her body again. So, she’s been left wondering if she can somehow keep their relationship going or if she should just cut her losses now and move on.
Wasn’t she trying to be upfront about her appearance by including recent photos in addition to her old ones? Why do you think the guy waited to voice his thoughts about her weight until now? Does it sound like this relationship is sustainable? What should she do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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