While She And Her Boyfriend Were Discussing Having Kids Together, He Mentioned That He Thinks Hitting Children Is Ok If They Misbehave, And She’s Worried This Is A Red Flag
This 25-year-old woman and her 25-year-old boyfriend have been together for two trouble-free years. But recently, she has learned more about his opinions when it comes to raising a family, and she’s not sure how to react.
As romantic relationships get more serious, it’s common for the topic of raising children to come up. It’s important to discuss things so that if you decide to have children together, there will be no surprises about how your partner wants to raise them.
But, as she and her boyfriend talked about the two or three kids that they want to have one day, her boyfriend shared that he would choose to hit his children if they misbehaved. He clarified that he wouldn’t get too intense but that hitting them with a spoon would teach them their lesson.
“He stated that it was like training dogs and that you need to hit dogs, too, to make them understand certain things. Needless to say, I was shocked,” she explained.
Having never been hit as a child or ever understood why someone would, she was so confused about why her boyfriend would think that was an okay thing to do. Upon asking him, he tried to explain to her that when he was hit as a child, it helped him to understand right from wrong and to learn his lessons whenever he was not behaving.
She shared how she totally disagreed with this idea of his, and if they ever had children together, she would not allow something like that to happen.
His response to this was super hurtful to her! Her boyfriend told her that if he were not allowed to hit his children when they had done something wrong, he wouldn’t take part in gently teaching the child their lesson and leave it up to his girlfriend to handle on her own.
“This is a side of him I have never seen before, and the way he just said it… it was so cold and heartless, as if there was no other way of raising children. If someone ever even raised a hand at my future child, I am not sure what I would do, but I guarantee I wouldn’t keep that person in my child’s life,” she said.
During this debate of a conversation, her boyfriend continued to get more and more frustrated with her, telling her that beating children was essential because otherwise, they would all end up spoiled like she was.
Volodymyr – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual child
The differences in their childhood are what likely caused their differences in opinions on this topic. While she was raised as an only child and has had a financially stable life, he grew up poor with his siblings and his parents having to move around a lot.
Even though she was aware that her boyfriend and his siblings were hit growing up, she didn’t expect him to want to continue this behavior in his future family.
“I just don’t know what to do now. He’s always been the sweetest and most caring person I [have] ever met. He never treated me or anybody else badly, and with the child of his brother, he is also very loving and sweet, so this side just came out of nowhere,” she added.
She is hopeful that his opinion on this touchy topic will change, and maybe once he’s had his own kids, he will think differently. But she doesn’t know if that’s something she wants to take her chances on.
So, she’s worried about this huge red flag as things are starting to become more serious between them, with talks of marriage and moving in together.
What do you think she should do if they do not see eye to eye on a topic as important as this one?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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