He Got Rejected By A Coworker After Asking Her On A Date, But Then She Suggested They Just Be Friends With Benefits

Dragana Gordic - stock.adobe.com-  illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Dragana Gordic - stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 36-year-old guy has a female 32-year-old coworker whom he has gotten pretty friendly with. They obviously worked together first, and then they got to know each other better on their lunch breaks.

It was during lunch that he got to learn more about her personal life. For instance, she left her ex– the father of her two kids– about seven months ago when she found out her ex was cheating. However, she has continued to co-parent with her ex and has also been seeing other guys on the side– although nothing has gotten serious.

Anyway, as he continued to get to know his coworker, he noticed that she started to make more flirty comments. At first, he just shrugged them off and figured she was just playing around with the banter.

But he eventually started to develop some serious feelings for the woman, and he even suggested that they get together outside of work.

In the beginning, his coworker agreed, too. Yet, they could never nail down a serious plan. For instance, he once asked her to go out to the movies, but his coworker appeared to just avoid his invitation.

Still, she later messaged him and asked if he had a crush on her. So, he was honest and admitted that he did really like her.

At the time, his coworker seemed to accept his interest, too, but it took some prodding to get her to open up about how she felt about him.

“She said she didn’t want to hurt me but was still recovering from her breakup and wasn’t looking for anything serious and that she would like to remain friends,” he recalled.

“I accepted that and backed off but continued to message her as a friend.”

Dragana Gordic – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Then, two weeks after that, his coworker randomly began asking him about his past relationships and even suggested that they try out a friends with benefits relationship.

His coworker’s one condition was that no one at work found out about their arrangement. He agreed to that, too, and just pretended as though nothing was going on between them while they were at work. At that point, they started hanging out outside of the office, and he took his coworker out to lunch.

“But she is fully aware that I still have feelings for her,” he clarified.

That’s why he decided to ask his coworker when she would be ready to do the “benefits” part. However, she claimed that she needed to wait until she got her medications sorted out. And he was completely fine with that.

As time continues to pass by, though, he knows that he is falling even more in love with his coworker. This is particularly difficult to deal with since he wants to respect her wishes about not getting involved in a serious relationship.

Just last night, his coworker also decided to come clean. She pointed out how she didn’t really see the “benefits” part of their arrangement happening. She also asked if he was jealous about there being other men in her life.

“I answered no because I knew about them from the get-go but admitted I would rather have her to myself, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen,” he explained.

This pushed him to ask why his coworker even suggested entering a friends with benefits situation in the first place if she didn’t really see it happening, and she admitted that she wasn’t even sure.

So, this made him pretty upset. And now, he’s been left wondering whether he should just keep trying to make it work with his coworker or cut it off for good.

Why do you think his coworker even wanted to get involved with him in the first place? Do you think he should keep waiting? Or should he cut his losses now before he develops even more feelings and gets really hurt? 

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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