She Got Into An Argument With Her Husband Since He’s Been Referring To His Late Wife As If She Was His Current Wife, Which Is Confusing Their Friends And Family
When you’re with someone who was previously married or in a serious relationship with someone else, it can be tricky when deciding how to refer to that person.
One woman recently got into an argument with her husband after he’s been referring to his late wife as if she was his current wife, confusing a lot of their friends and family.
She’s 29 and has been married to her 34-year-old husband, Daniel, for almost a year. Daniel has an 8-year-old daughter named Jane, who he had with his late wife, Alyssa, who passed away around four years ago.
She and Daniel met just before the COVID-19 pandemic when he had been widowed for about a year.
“We ended up quarantining together, and after three years, we decided to tie the knot,” she said.
“The wedding ceremony was everything a girl could dream of, and we’ve honestly had very few issues in our first year as a couple. It wasn’t until we went to pick up Jane from her summer camp that I started seeing an issue.”
While picking up Jane, she saw Daniel talking to one of the camp coordinators. Then, he began talking about the jacket he was wearing and said his wife had made him the jacket, and she was really good at sewing. However, Alyssa had made him the jacket, not her.
“It bugged me a little, but I brushed it off as a one-time thing, an accident,” she recalled.
“We don’t talk about Alyssa much unless we’re around Jane, and even then, he usually refers to her as ‘Jane’s mom.’ I never heard him call her his wife, especially now that we [are] married.”
BGStock72 – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Since recently picking up Jane, Daniel has continued referring to Alyssa as his wife. The other night, while they were out with some new friends from her job, one of them started asking her questions about baseball.
When she admitted to not knowing anything about baseball, her friends became extremely confused because all night, Daniel had been saying his wife played baseball in college and was very good at it. Unfortunately, they had no idea he was talking about Alyssa.
Her friends admitted to being confused and said Daniel had referred to her and Alyssa as his wife several times.
She became very upset and was humiliated as she had to keep clarifying the difference between her and Alyssa.
That night, when they returned home, she and Daniel got into an argument. Daniel told her that since he never divorced Alyssa, he would never not think of her as his wife and didn’t want to stop referring to her as such.
Daniel doesn’t like using the terms ‘late wife’ or ‘first wife’ for various reasons, so she’s at a loss for what to suggest he call Alyssa.
While she deeply respects the role Alyssa had in Daniel and Jane’s lives and doesn’t want to tarnish her memory, she wishes Daniel would treat her with a little more respect and refer to her as his only current wife.
“I told him that if he wasn’t ready to move on, then he shouldn’t have married me,” she added.
“If he can’t commit to being my husband, then he shouldn’t get to call me his wife. I spent the next night at my sister’s house, ignoring his calls. We recently started to smooth things over by not talking about them, but I can tell that this is going to be a sore spot in the marriage I am trying so desperately to save.”
How should she handle this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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