He Divorced His Wife Because He Didn’t Want Her To Become A Stay-At-Home Mom, But She Did It Anyway
This 30-year-old guy got married to his wife, who is also 30, about five years ago. But they started dating all the way back in high school, and when they met, he loved how ambitious, smart, and driven his wife was.
“We bonded over academics and nerd stuff, and we had both landed good jobs in the same city right after college,” he recalled.
Then, three years after tying the knot, they had their first child. He and his wife decided that she would take six months off of work after the birth of their kid. Afterward, they would send their baby to daycare.
Yet, once the six months were up, his wife shocked him. Apparently, she refused to return to work and send their baby to daycare.
His wife argued that if he worked extra hours, they could afford to live on a single income. Plus, she also claimed that, by being a stay-at-home parent, they would be saving money on childcare costs.
Finally, his wife thought that staying home was the best thing for their child, too.
Still, he was not on board with the plan and refused. In his mind, daycare is “normal.”
“And if it was only me working, I would have to work way more hours, be exhausted, and not spend as much time with my child,” he reasoned.
“I said if she was scared about daycare, we could work in different shifts to stay home with our baby. Like tag team.”
baranq – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
His wife wouldn’t budge, though, and claimed that idea just wouldn’t work for her. As a mother, his wife felt that she needed to be home with their child at all times.
This wound up sparking a massive argument. And even though he was opposed to his wife being a stay-at-home mom, she quit her job and did it anyway.
His wife ultimately cared for their baby while he was working. Then, she wanted him to handle the cooking on weeknights, as well as the cooking, cleaning, and childcare on the weekends. According to his wife, “stay-at-home moms deserve breaks, too.”
This new dynamic really made him start to resent his wife, and he tried to communicate that to his wife.
“The loads of bills and insane work hours, along with not being able to enjoy time with my baby, all deeply upset me,” he explained.
But, after a while, it became clear that his wife wasn’t going to listen to him or make any changes to their routine. So, at that point, he decided to file for divorce.
The court ultimately awarded him and his now ex-wife equal custody. He was not required to pay any alimony or child support, either, since he was able to prove that it was his wife’s own decision to be a stay-at-home mom.
Afterward, he moved back home with his parents since they had enough room; meanwhile, his ex-wife has been struggling to make ends meet and living paycheck to paycheck.
When he works, his baby now stays with his mom. His mother offered the same arrangement to his ex-wife, too.
“But she was so mad at me that she refused and enrolled our baby in a daycare. And I refused to pay for it since she can just leave our kid with my mom,” he vented.
Some of his ex-wife’s friends have obviously heard about the divorce as well. And now, he is getting accused of being a jerk for divorcing his ex-wife and leaving her without any financial support.
That’s why, in the wake of their separation, he’s now wondering whether ending their marriage because his ex decided to become a stay-at-home mom really did make him a jerk or not.
Can you understand why his wife wanted to be a stay-at-home mom? Even so, is that a decision she should’ve made unilaterally, or did he have a right to have a say? Does it sound like their arrangement would have been sustainable anyway? What would you have done if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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