He’s Angry And Sad That His Wife Asked Him For A Divorce Last Night
This 37-year-old man and his 36-year-old wife have two sons, who are one and six. He has a government job working 40 hours per week, and he makes $60,000.
His wife works part-time and makes $20,000 a year, and in her free time, she watches their youngest son. His mom also helps watch their baby a couple of days a week so his wife can go to work.
Last night, his wife asked him for a divorce, and she revealed that she’s been thinking about this for a couple of months.
“It boils down to us having different values,” he explained. “She has higher standards than me. She wears the pants in the relationship, and she’s always the one to get mad.”
“She feels like she’s the one doing everything in the relationship. It’s easier with the 2 kids when I’m not around (sometimes I feel the same, in that it’s easier when it’s me and the 2 kids without worrying about making her mad).”
“Compared to her, I have a lack of initiative; she always wants to be moving up in life, while I feel like I can’t keep up and would rather enjoy what we have, and she’s made it clear she will never slow down. She wants the best schooling and the best home for our kids.”
He’s not like his wife, though. He says he likes things to be simpler, and he just goes with the flow regardless of the situation.
He does want their children to get a good education and live in a lovely home, but he doesn’t believe that is as important as supporting them and loving them.
He also doesn’t think that he and the kids need that much by way of stuff, and even though his wife was the one who picked out all of the furniture in their home if it was up to him, he wouldn’t even have a TV and would be fine with less.
NDABCREATIVITY – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
His wife also pointed out that he’s kind of like her other child she has to care for instead of a partner, and that’s a main reason she would like to get divorced.
She doesn’t like cleaning up after him, and he says he does clean up, however, it’s never up to her standards.
He admits that he’s not good at cooking, decorating, or any kind of handiwork needed in their home, but he does his best to make up for what he lacks by doing laundry, dishes, and getting the kids tucked into bed.
He also wakes up in the middle of the night to feed their baby and makes himself available any time his wife needs a little break from the kids.
“She says the things I do are not helpful enough,” he said. “She also knows that I’m already at my limit as far as what I can do to help out, and she’s at hers. My 100% is not good enough. I don’t disagree with her on any of these things.”
“Continuing on this way is unacceptable to her, she’s unhappy, and she’s going to be a moody mom to the kids all the time. When she looks at me, she gets [angry]. She also feels that it’s not fair that I get to go to work and not have to be around kids for 40 hours a week and do my hobby on my lunch break.”
He has made an effort to clean more in their house or step up to the plate in other ways or try to take the lead on major decisions in their family, but he can’t ever keep it all up.
He also doesn’t feel the need to accommodate any changes in their life because he’s happy with exactly the way things are for them.
Sometimes he doesn’t feel happy, and sometimes his wife makes him feel like he’s walking around on eggshells, but he told his wife last night that he’s still in love with her and does not want to get divorced or separate.
“I asked if she still loves me, and she said she doesn’t know,” he continued. “I’m feeling a mixture of sadness, anger, disbelief, and tiredness.”
“I thought of trying to pick up another job to make more money so she doesn’t have to work, but then she wouldn’t be able to further her career, which would be necessary to send our kids to a nicer school and move to a bigger place. Marriage counseling is another option that I’m willing to try.”
“I don’t know how to fix this or how we should move forward.”
What do you think he should do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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