He’s Refusing To Buy His Fiancée’s Best Friend A Wedding Gift Because Traveling To The Destination Wedding Is Already Costing Them $2,000
Next year, this 22-year-old man and his fiancée, also 22, are getting married.
His fiancée’s best friend is having a destination wedding during the Christmas season, and she is hoping that the two of them will attend.
Unfortunately, his fiancée’s best friend didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid, yet all of her other friends were included as bridesmaids.
In all, he and his fiancée would have to spend $2,000 to go to her friend’s wedding, which is a three-day event. He would have to take a day off of work in order to go, and the amount of money they would be spending is their monthly rent.
To make attending possible, he would have to do all he could to save up enough money.
In his opinion, he doesn’t think it makes sense for him to go to the wedding in the first place, and he believes that money could be better spent elsewhere.
He’s currently debating whether or not he should go. If he does attend the wedding, he wonders if it would be tacky not to bring his fiancée’s friend a gift because they would have already spent so much money just to be there.
On the other hand, he wonders if he would look like a jerk if he didn’t attend so that they could save money and his fiancée traveled to the wedding on her own.
He has been financially struggling, and he started a new job not too long ago. His job tasks change each day, and it’s difficult to predict what his paychecks will look like. It will take time for him to feel more stable.
New Africa – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Plus, he and his fiancée had a difficult time scraping the money together to afford the down payment on their wedding venue, and that cost less than what they’d be paying if they both attended her friend’s wedding.
“I will talk to my fiancée about other solutions, such as her going alone and me giving the lady $500 as a gift, which is more than needed and very generous,” he said.
As another alternative, if neither he nor his fiancée went to the wedding, they could send her friend more money as a gift. This option would allow them to save so much of the money they would have spent on the travel.
He thought that this would be a great idea because it would be a kind gesture and it would make it clear how appreciative they are to have been invited to her wedding, and it could avoid her friend having hurt feelings that they wouldn’t be attending.
“If she chooses neither of those, then we have to have a serious evaluation of our relationship and finances because communicating with her that our wedding is more important and should be the focus,” he explained.
He emphasized that their families during the Christmas season, as well as their relationship, will always be higher priorities than her friends, and he hopes that his fiancée agrees with him.
Later on, he found out that his fiancée’s friend wanted her to run errands for her during the destination wedding trip, including watching her friend’s service dog and picking up Starbucks for her and the bridesmaids while they all slept in, even though she wasn’t part of the bridal party.
In addition to these duties, her friend also said she would be expected to do set up for the wedding ceremony.
After learning all of this, he and his fiancée decided that neither of them would attend the wedding, but they may still get her a gift.
While discussing the wedding via text message, her friend said that they didn’t have to buy her a gift since she knew they were planning their own wedding.
But he thinks that she should have told them that because they were planning their own wedding, they didn’t have to come to her wedding at all.
Then, his fiancée’s friend started fighting with her because she wanted her friend to do the tasks for her that she didn’t want her bridesmaids to be stuck doing.
If he and his fiancée decided to both attend the wedding, they wouldn’t have been staying in the same hotel room. She would be sharing a room with the bridesmaids, and her friend would cover the cost for her while he would have to pay $500 for his room. For the weekend, the hotel room alone would have cost $1,500.
Apparently, her friend gave her some information about the costs back in March, and she told her friend that she would think it over before letting her know if she would be able to go. She told her friend that despite the discount on the hotel room, it was still too much money for them to be spending when they also accounted for their roundtrip red-eye flight.
Despite expressing her concerns, her friend didn’t understand her point of view.
“Her crazy friend said, ‘It’s barely a cost when you compare to everything else bridesmaids have to pay for,'” he shared.
After this, his fiancée stopped responding to her friend’s text messages. Now, his fiancée is deeply hurt by her friend’s behavior and doesn’t think her friend was respecting her. He and his fiancée will now be able to set more money aside for their wedding and the future since they won’t be attending her friend’s wedding.
What would you have done if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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