She’s Discussing The Idea Of Offering Closure When Dating So That Your Relationship Isn’t Left In An Ambiguous State
Nowadays, it’s more common for people to ghost someone after a date. Instead of clarifying the reason they don’t want to continue dating, they abandon you without warning, forcing you to fill in the blanks.
TikToker Holly (@hopewithholly) is discussing the idea of offering closure when dating so that the relationship isn’t left in an ambiguous state.
In the past, one of her worries about going on dates with guys was that she wouldn’t be brave enough to tell them if she wasn’t interested in a second date.
Before, men often pleaded with her to give them another chance, and she would always agree so she wouldn’t hurt their feelings and come off as a mean person.
What she failed to realize back then was that you can state your desires without being mean. Recently, Holly went out on three dates with three different guys, and none of them worked out.
Instead of ghosting them, she sent them each a simple message, thanking them for their time and saying that she didn’t see a future with them, but she wished them the best of luck.
They demanded an explanation as to why Holly didn’t want to take things further with them, which she did give to them. But Holly says that you aren’t required to provide a detailed explanation if you don’t want to.
“Other times, I don’t give an explanation. And I’ll just say, ‘I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I know I’m uncomfortable, and I try to listen to my gut and my intuition,'” she said.
Holly isn’t a fan of ghosting. She likes to give people closure. When dating, you must be fully present and be your authentic self. You must also be willing to let the other person know if things aren’t going to work out.
chika_milan – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Holly advises creating an elevator speech. Thank them for the date, inform them that you weren’t feeling a connection with them, and wish them luck on their dating journey.
Several TikTok users agreed with Holly’s message, and some added their input on how they deal with guys they aren’t interested in.
“Boundaries are necessary, esp. with men. Agree we don’t have to be vicious about it, but we do need to be clear,” commented one user.
“It’s usually obvious to both. I wouldn’t send anything unless they continue to contact me,” wrote another.
“I agree, but when they turn stalkerish or scare me in some way, I just block, no explanations,” stated a third.
@hopewithholly #dating #datingstorytime #baddate #datinglife #singlemomlife #datingapps #datingadvice #breakingup #closure #datingclosure #datingover40 #datingover30
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