He Broke Up With His Girlfriend After She Went Out To Dinner And Drinks With An Older Guy Without Telling Him, And He Found Out That She’d Gone Out With The Guy Multiple Times Since The Spring
This 23-year-old man and his girlfriend, also 23, have been in a relationship for the last 9 months.
They had plans to hang out last Saturday at about 10 p.m. At about 6 p.m., his girlfriend let him know she may be running late, so she suggested he just come over to her place the following day instead.
But he told her that he was okay waiting until later that night to see her, and he mentioned that he could sleep over, and they could eat breakfast together the next morning.
His girlfriend agreed to this, and she said she’d let him know when he could head over to her place.
He asked her what she was doing because he was a bit worried.
“She said she was having dinner with a ‘client.’ (She teaches piano to kids.) I am a bit suspicious of this, but I don’t assume any problems,” he said.
By 10 p.m., he was ready to go, so he texted his girlfriend and asked if she was ready for him to come over. She didn’t respond for 15 minutes, so he followed up, and she told him to come over the next day instead.
In response, he asked her if she could call him, but she said she couldn’t at the moment. He told her to call him whenever she was free.
Finally, his girlfriend called him, and prior to this, he’d assumed that the client his girlfriend was having dinner with was female.
hedgehog94 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
However, it turned out that she was having dinner with a man who was 35-years-old.
“At this point, I am very uncomfortable. She never told me about this and has now canceled our plans and has been unresponsive. We text a bit, with it mostly being just me telling her this is a pretty big boundary she’s crossing and that I am upset she did not tell me before, canceled our plans, and doesn’t seem to see the big conflict of interest here,” he explained.
While he didn’t want to be controlling over his girlfriend because, obviously, she is her own person with agency, he felt like this wasn’t the same thing as her attending a party or getting together with a friend she hadn’t seen in a long time.
For him, this was crossing the line. At 1 a.m., his girlfriend finally got home after dinner and called him.
In his eyes, it was concerning that she came home this late because it was unlike her. Even when he goes out with his girlfriend, they don’t stay out that late.
During the phone call, which didn’t last long, he was angry, telling her that she had essentially gone on a date with another man, whether she was aware of it or not. Their conversation was tense and didn’t end with any sort of resolution.
The following day, his girlfriend said she was sorry and that she wanted to come over so that they could talk.
Two days ago, she came over to his place to have a conversation. She once again told him that she was sorry, but he expressed that he wanted more details about the situation with this man.
“I asked about this guy, who he was, how long he had known her, what the night timeline was. Apparently, she has known him since spring and has gone on multiple dinners with him, such as this one, and she was teaching him lessons and not his child (he has none),” he shared.
He told her that while he wants to continue their relationship, he now has uncertainty in his head, and he expressed that he doesn’t think he could continue dating her without being able to read the conversations that she had with this man.
In response, his girlfriend said that she couldn’t agree to this because it was an invasion of her privacy. Then, she asked for them to take a temporary break from their relationship.
However, he told her that he was giving her an ultimatum and that if she didn’t agree to show him the conversations she had with the man she’d been having dinner with, their relationship was over.
But his girlfriend doubled down on her refusal to do this. So, they discussed how healthy and happy their relationship had been before this situation and made sure they had shared all of their thoughts and concerns about everything before she grabbed her belongings and left.
Throughout their talk, his girlfriend appeared hurt, but he noticed she didn’t seem to vocalize frustrations about his lack of trust in her.
She didn’t seem to fight for the relationship. Instead, she seemed to immediately accept that they were breaking up and was ready to leave. In his view, this was strange.
Looking back, he acknowledged that his line of questioning was a little intense. Now, he wonders if he messed up by needing to see proof that nothing was going on between his girlfriend and this man rather than believing that she was remaining faithful to the relationship.
Deep down, he thinks his girlfriend did cheat because of how she acted during their conversations.
What would you have done if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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