If you don’t want your relationship to end in heartbreak, it’s probably wise not to go about dating someone who is still married, right?
This 39-year-old woman has a 42-year-0ld boyfriend, Jared, and she’s been dating him for eight years…but he is married to his wife Veronica, and they have a 12-year-old daughter together, whom she loves.
When she first started seeing Jared, he had been separated from Veronica for over a year, but they never did end up getting a divorce. That never bothered her up until recently.
Several months ago, she noticed that Jared was spending a lot more time texting, and he was no longer interested in being romantic with her.
His job is stressful, as is his family, so she chalked it up to that. But then they took a vacation to a lake, and since it was her time of the month, she hung out on the shore instead of swimming.
All of Jared’s belongings were right there with her on the beach, along with his phone. Now, she never goes digging through Jared’s phone, but given his shady behavior, she knew she had to do some investigating.
She opened up the conversation between Jared and Veronica, which was way too friendly and not about their daughter. While reading the messages, she found out that back in May, on Jared’s birthday, he went for a walk alone, which upset her, yet he was snapping photos of his walk and sending them to Veronica.
Jared additionally confided in Veronica about some family matters and told her that he was sobbing. So, Jared was turning to his wife to comfort him, not her.
She also found photos Jared sent to Veronica of him dressed up for a fancy weekend that they had, and she doesn’t know if he was seeking validation from his wife or not.
“Sometimes they slip and put kisses on the end of messages. I understand wanting to keep things sweet with the ex, but I feel constant texting all the time and not about the kid crosses the line,” she said.
“Nothing is overly flirty, but all of this added together, with his recent pulling back, and the fact he still hasn’t divorced her despite me reminding him he needs to if we want to start afresh/buy a house etc. makes me feel really uncomfortable. And now whenever he gets a message on his phone, I can feel my stomach sink, and my blood boil.”
“Am I overreacting? Is he emotionally cheating? [What] do I do with this information because I can’t really say ‘oh I went through your phone and I’m not happy with what I found’ because it’s a huge breach of trust and I am totally in the wrong for even looking. But I can’t just forget about what I saw.”
She’s wondering if she should confront Jared or just continue to keep tabs on him.
Well, she messed up big time by dating a married man in the first place, so I really have no sympathy for her. Jared wants to have his cake and eat it too, and she’s wasted years of her life on him.
It’s time for her to wake up and walk away. Jared is never going to get a divorce, because if that’s what he wanted and if he was willing to pick her, he would have done that already.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post below.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
