He Has Both A Girlfriend And A Very Close Female Friend Who He “Harmlessly” Flirts With And His Girlfriend Doesn’t Know About, So His Childhood Friend Accused Him Of Being Dishonest And Basically Having Two Girlfriends
This 19-year-old man is a sophomore in college. His classes and extracurricular activities have been going smoothly this year, and he’s been having fun in school.
However, he’s been struggling with some relationship problems. Toward the end of May, during his freshman year, he started dating Hannah, 19.
He and Hannah are both Chemistry majors, and he likes hanging out with her a lot. They often get together to study, watch shows that they both enjoy, and eat meals.
At this time during the school year, a lot of students already left campus for the summer, so they didn’t have as many people to hang out with, so they quickly bonded because they were together all the time.
“I’ve been asking Hannah out from time to time, and since then, she has started referring to me as her boyfriend to her friends, and my friends refer to her as my girlfriend,” he said.
At the beginning of September, he met Emily, 19, who was in his physics lab. Emily is really knowledgeable when it comes to physics, so he’s picked up a lot from her.
“While we do spend most of our time working on the labs, we also spend a lot of time chatting (and sometimes very little, harmless flirting). We’ve been out a few times (to dinner and the mall), and she’s always accepted whenever I invite her out,” he explained.
At first, he didn’t think it was a problem for him to be hanging out with Emily while Hannah was calling him her boyfriend.
But when he asked his friend, Anna, 19, to weigh in, she had a different take. He and Anna have known each other since they were young kids, and they’re really good friends.
Photo 47783111 © Hongqi Zhang (aka Michael Zhang) – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Yesterday, he was talking with Anna and brought up the fact that he’s been spending time with both Hannah and Emily.
“She looked really shocked at this and said that I essentially had ‘two girlfriends.’ She said I was being dishonest to Hannah for keeping her out of the loop, but I said there wasn’t really much to tell her,” he shared.
He responded, telling Anna that she was too judgmental and that his actions weren’t as wrong as she was making them out to be.
After the conversation with Anna, he talked to a few of his male friends to see what their opinions were.
He was shocked to realize that several of them had the same perspective that Anna did. Now, he feels like he’s in an ethical dilemma, and he’s too ashamed to ask anyone else he knows for their thoughts on the situation.
Also, he’s concerned that if he keeps discussing the issue with people, word may get back to Hannah and Emily, and they may form unfair opinions about who he is as a person that he doesn’t believe would be true.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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