She And Her Husband Are “Canceling Christmas” And Refusing To Host Either Of Their Families This Year Because It’s Always Way Too Stressful, But Now Their Loved Ones Are Giving Them Grief And Claiming She Needs To “Suck It Up”

LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS - stock.adobe.com -  illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

People often underestimate how hard it can be to host family during holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. This is especially true if you have a large family and relatives who aren’t very helpful or don’t have the best manners.

One woman and her husband are exhausted from hosting relatives from both sides of the family as they would drive them crazy and stress them out year after year. Now, they’re refusing to host this year, and both their parents are giving them grief.

She and her husband are in their 40s and have complicated relationships with their family members. There is a lot of mental illness on each side of their family, and they go most of the year with little contact with them.

However, each Christmas, she and her husband have hosted their families at their home for Christmas dinner for several reasons.

“We host because none of the other family members have a big enough house for everyone to fit thanks to the above and poor financial decisions,” she said.

“We don’t even have a huge house. [It’s] just big enough for us and the kids, but it’s still the biggest space available to them.”

Every year, while still working full-time, she and her husband have to spend a week preparing to host their relatives. They have to do all the grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. Unfortunately, they don’t get any help anymore.

Her mom used to help out a bit, but since the COVID-19 pandemic, she decided she simply didn’t want to do any more work during the holidays and has refused to help since. Other relatives have hardly stepped up either, and when they arrive for dinner, they’re constantly complaining.

Their relatives always have critiques surrounding their Christmas meals, complaining about there being too little or too much of something. The kids that are brought along always want chicken nuggets and mac and cheese instead of the nice food they prepared, so they have to ensure they have what they need to make those.

LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Plus, once her relatives bring their kids over, they ignore them to the point where she has to step in as a babysitter.

By the time Christmas is over, they feel more stressed and exhausted than they are cheerful and grateful. 

“We end up broke, with our house trashed and our kids miserable, throwing tantrums because the others are too, and all around, it’s just not a fun experience,” she explained.

“So [my] hubby is over it. He’s refusing to host this year. He doesn’t even want to go out or visit anyone on the day; he just wants to have dinner with us and our kids, and I am pretty much in agreeance.”

Once she and her husband told their relatives they would not be hosting Christmas this year, both their parents gave them a lot of grief, telling them that Christmas is a time for family and they shouldn’t let some relatives’ negative attitudes spoil the holiday. 

They also told her that she should suck it up and “rise above” her resentments for that one day of the year.

Should she “suck it up” and host Christmas, or were she and her husband right to say no?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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