She Called Her Husband An Idiot And Threatened To Divorce Him After He Co-Signed On A $1 Million Home That Isn’t Theirs
For about two years, this 39-year-old woman and her husband, 38, have been in a joyful marriage.
They own a house together, and both make impressive salaries, earning about the same amount of money.
Her husband is the one who is mainly responsible for keeping track of their finances, but they make financial decisions together.
His mother and older sister live several hours away.
In her opinion, they seem to mistreat him so badly that she believes it borders on abuse.
Her mother-in-law and sister-in-law often belittle him and don’t respect him. They also manipulate him into thinking that he should take ownership of their financial problems and bad decisions.
For a while, her husband’s mother and sister have been renting a house from a family member, and the rent they are paying is significantly under what the market value should be. They are paying about $3,000 less than what the rental rate of the house would be right now.
Now, the family member who owns the house has made the decision to sell it.
Unfortunately, her mother-in-law and sister-in-law have not done a good job of maintaining the home, so it’s not in good condition. It doesn’t seem like they’ve been grateful for this family member giving them such a fantastic deal on rent for such a long time.
LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Their family member told them that they had 90 days to move out.
Right away, her husband’s mother and sister asked if he could help them purchase a house.
They happen to live and have jobs in one of the priciest housing markets in the United States.
Applying for a home loan wouldn’t be an option for his mother and sister because they wouldn’t meet the criteria for the type of loan and the amount they’d need, even if they were just trying to purchase a reasonably priced house in their area.
They are unwilling to consider moving to a city where housing and the cost of living would be more affordable for them.
Additionally, they have fairly low credit scores and don’t own any major assets.
“After a lot of back and forth, they finally asked my husband to co-sign on a very basic older home that cost $1 million. My immediate reaction was to tell them absolutely not, and I voiced my concerns to my husband. He is usually very level-headed and financially savvy, but I had to be the one to push him and his family for some sort of plan of how this would all work,” she said.
In her view, it would be a horrible idea for her mother-in-law and sister-in-law to jump from paying $1,000 per month in rent to a mortgage of more than $6,000 a month, not including all their bills on top of that.
During their discussions, she suggested to her husband that his mother and sister find a more affordable apartment to rent for the time being so that they could save up and purchase a house in a year or two.
Her husband didn’t have a response as to why his sister and mother wouldn’t consider this idea.
But he felt the same way she did about how he needed to let them know that before he agreed to be the co-signer, they needed to explain how they were planning to pay for this house on their own.
Within the next few weeks, her husband had numerous discussions with them, and they didn’t give him any information about how they would afford the mortgage and other monthly expenses so that they didn’t run the risk of defaulting on the mortgage.
When he asked who they would rely on for home repairs, they didn’t have an answer.
“Finally, last week, before I left for a work trip, my husband told me he would not be co-signing on the home and that they had done zero planning. I was so relieved and was able to relax on my trip. Well, I returned home at the end of the week and was taking a shower when he walked in and told me he co-signed for the home! To say I was taken aback is an understatement,” she explained.
Understandably, she was in shock and went through a multitude of feelings.
The following morning, the reality set in.
She felt betrayed because her husband had assured her that he wouldn’t co-sign on this house, which obviously would have been an insanely risky and irresponsible investment to make, and then he ended up doing it without telling her.
“He kept trying to tell me I was safe from any potential impact, but I don’t understand how that could be. I asked him to walk me through the conversation, the plans, and any assurance that our own assets were safe. He couldn’t. He then had the audacity to tell me, ‘At least I decided to tell you.’ That is when I lost it. I felt absolutely betrayed and disrespected. I cried and screamed and told him that he could not see how they used him. I told him I was questioning his integrity and our relationship,” she shared.
Currently, she and her husband are in the middle of IVF, and it’s been so physically and emotionally taxing for her.
As their argument continued, she said that she didn’t think he was worthy of being the father of her children. She told him that in a hypothetical scenario in which they did have children together, she would be in low contact with his family and wouldn’t allow his family near their children.
Throughout their marriage, there have been other situations when she has been mistreated by his family, so she doesn’t communicate with them much.
Her husband’s family has never liked her, and she suspects that they are envious of the lifestyle she and her husband have together while they don’t feel like her husband financially supports them enough.
This mistreatment was a lot of why her husband decided that they should move away from his family.
Up until this point, her husband had been able to keep his family mostly in the dark about how much money he made.
However, when he co-signed, his mother and sister are now aware of all his assets. Because of this, she’s concerned that they will start asking him for more financial help.
Before the idea of her husband co-signing was floated, his sister and mother never even attempted to apply for a loan on their own.
In her view, his mother and sister thought that since he was the co-signer on the home loan, they could essentially do whatever they wanted, not bothering to maintain the home or even caring if they defaulted on the loan. They were most likely going to rely on her husband to pay so that his credit and assets weren’t negatively affected.
At the beginning of the fight, her husband was apologetic, but later, he became defensive over his mother and sister, despite the fact that she and others have attempted to tell him how poorly his family treats him.
Then, she said to her husband that if he wanted to salvage their marriage, he needed to draft a contract with his mother and sister right away, including in the contract that he was the main owner of the house. This way, if his mother and sister didn’t keep up with maintenance and repairs or defaulted on the loan, he would be able to sell the house.
Her husband tried to follow through with her demands, but his mother and sister wouldn’t sit down with him to put this agreement in writing.
According to them, since they would be the ones living in the house, it belonged to them.
Over the last three days, she has repeatedly questioned her husband about why he went forward with such a risky financial decision without planning out how it would even work.
When she asked her friends for their opinions, they said that this was something she should divorce him over.
But putting this situation aside, she loves the life she has with her husband, and she adores him.
What advice would you give her?
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