She Put A Congratulatory Post On Facebook For Her Daughter’s Graduation, But She Was Asked To Delete It By Her Other Daughter, Who Thought The Post Made It Seem Like She Was A Failure
This 56-year-old woman and her husband, 57, have twin daughters named Ava and Susie, who are both 25.
While growing up, Ava and Susie were total opposites of one another, and they were extremely close until right before they went away to college.
Ava was accepted to one of the most prestigious universities in the country, so she moved all the way across the country to attend this school.
“Susie got into a good school, but not as great as the one Ava got into, and this is where the problems began. Susie started making digs at Ava and making jokes that the college only accepted her for diversity reasons. Ava wouldn’t let Susie say mean things about her without fighting back, so it was basically an entire summer of fighting and hostility in our household,” she said.
Unfortunately, she and her husband couldn’t convince their daughters to make peace with one another, even though they tried their hardest to do so.
Susie started doing illegal substances during college, and in her sophomore year, she was expelled because she was doing substances while on the college campus.
After Susie was expelled, she moved home and entered a rehab program. She struggled with her sobriety and had to return to rehab several times.
“We didn’t give up on her. Ava would come back home several times a year to see and support her sister. We were doing whatever we could to help Susie get her life back on track,” she explained.
Last year, Susie completed a rehab program that seemed to be really successful, and she was sober for months after she’d finished the program.
shurkin_son – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Susie was confident enough in her sobriety to get a part-time job, and the family was really hopeful, optimistic, and thrilled.
Throughout these past few months, Susie has been able to stay sober, and she works 30 hours a week, works out, writes poetry, and paints. The entire family is obviously extremely happy for her and her recovery journey.
Ava received her undergraduate and went on to complete her master’s degree.
She and her husband took a flight to Ava’s school to see both of her graduation ceremonies.
Prior to Ava’s graduation, after she received her master’s, Susie said she couldn’t get time off work approved, so she couldn’t go to the graduation ceremony.
Even though she didn’t press Susie to try to come with them, she wondered how honest Susie was being because she hadn’t taken a day off of work for a whole year. In her view, it didn’t seem realistic that Susie’s time off request wouldn’t be approved. She assumed that Susie was making an excuse but didn’t want to go to the ceremony.
When she and her husband attended Ava’s graduation ceremony, they took a ton of photos, and she posted some of them on Facebook.
Friends and family members of hers started leaving comments on her post, telling Ava congratulations on her graduation and sending well wishes.
“I got a call from Susie, like, 30 minutes after I posted it, asking if I can delete it. I asked her why, and she couldn’t give me a reason at first. I said I’m not deleting it without a good reason since all I did was post about Ava’s graduation. She said if I keep posting about Ava’s achievements and none of hers, she’s going to look like a failure to everyone, and they’re going to wonder why Ava has done so well in life, and she hasn’t,” she shared.
In response, she told Susie that she doesn’t post about her on Facebook because she’s requested her not to.
Susie has often asked her not to post things about her because, in her view, what she’s accomplished isn’t on the same level as what peers in her age group are doing, and she doesn’t think her successes are as impressive as the achievements of others. Susie doesn’t seem to have that confidence or pride in herself and what she’s been able to do with her life.
Every time Susie has expressed these feelings, she’s reassured Susie that their family is so proud of her journey and progress, adding that she should feel happy and proud of her recovery and successes.
But since Susie has doubled down on not wanting her to post anything about her on Facebook, she’s respected her wishes.
During their conversation, she validated Susie’s emotions but told her that Ava’s achievements should be acknowledged, and they should be able to celebrate wonderful, huge events in Ava’s life.
Then, she suggested that Susie could discuss her emotions about all of this with her therapist in order to figure out some coping skills.
In her opinion, it’s unfair to both Susie and Ava for Susie to continue living with so much insecurity and constantly comparing herself to others.
She told Susie that she would love to be able to post about her successes on Facebook as well and share with the world how proud she is of her recovery journey, but since Susie doesn’t allow her to, she doesn’t think this should mean she can’t post about Ava.
At first, she had been planning to talk to Ava and ask if she’d be okay with her deleting the post, but she changed her mind after giving it some thought.
Now, she feels that Susie should talk about the situation in therapy rather than not allow anyone to post on Facebook about how proud they are of Ava for her achievements.
From her perspective, it’s not healthy for Susie to act this way, and she does think it would be a good idea in the long term for her to bend to what Susie wants in regard to this issue.
However, Susie disagrees, claiming that this is a small thing that she’s requesting her to do, and it shouldn’t be a big deal for her to just delete the Facebook post so that she feels less hurt.
Now, she doesn’t know if she’s horrible for refusing to delete the post or if she is right in her decision to keep it up.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe
Here Are The Three Easiest Ways To Remove Your Outdated Wallpaper To Give Your Walls A Fresh Look
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships