She Wants To Separate From Her Husband, But She Isn’t Sure If She Should Tell Him Now Because He’s Supposed To Be The Best Man At A Wedding In Two Weeks
This 30-year-old woman and her husband, 31, have been married for seven years and in a relationship for 13 years total.
They have a 5-year-old son and live in a rural area.
Conveniently, her family lives right next door, so they’ve been able to take care of their son while she and her husband work.
Unfortunately, once they had their son, her husband didn’t participate much in the day-to-day parenting that she needed help with.
Instead, he left the labor of parenting for her to do on her own for the first two years of their son’s life.
“He was only interested in outings and family gatherings since then, with the exception of being frustrated or angry with our son at what I felt were inappropriate times (for example, potty training was a long process, and after the six-month mark, I had to curb some shaming remarks and the occasional frustrated yelling). All this and more has led to me feeling like the ‘married, single mother,” she said.
When she accepted the fact that her husband didn’t care about their son, she also accepted that she sadly wasn’t important to him, either.
In hindsight, she acknowledged that for most of their relationship, everything was focused on her husband. They only did what he wanted to do, and they only went to the places he wanted to go to. Their dates were centered around what her husband was interested in, and when he bought her presents, they weren’t things that she actually wanted but were instead things that he liked.
“If he wants me to do something, even if I’m sick, he will guilt me into doing it. If we have an argument about something, he changes the topic completely or tells me I’m being too sensitive or making myself a victim. Overall, I’ve spent the last three years trying to get my relationship to work, but now that I know he won’t even put in effort for our child, I don’t have the energy or drive to do it anymore,” she explained.
sepy – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Understandably, she’s exhausted from trying to keep their marriage together when she knows it’s not a healthy or happy relationship.
In about two weeks, her husband will be the best man for his best friend’s wedding. Their son is in the wedding party, too.
She’s debating on whether to break up with her husband before the wedding or if she should wait.
If she broke up with him beforehand, they would still have to live together for a while since he would struggle to find somewhere else to go.
Her father, step-grandparents, and one of her cousins are the only family members that live nearby, so he doesn’t have any of his family that he could temporarily stay with after their breakup.
She stated that if she did go forward with the breakup ahead of the wedding, she wouldn’t attend the wedding as she’d originally planned to.
If this happened, her husband would have to watch their son during the wedding ceremony, and she would pick up their son afterward because children weren’t allowed to attend the reception.
On the other hand, if she waited until after the wedding to break up with her husband, attending the wedding would be difficult for her.
“But I also don’t know that I would want it to drag on, and after this, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and our child’s birthday all fall in line, so it never seems like a good time,” she shared.
In her view, she may be projecting her feelings of how much this wedding means when her husband may not feel the same way. She doesn’t dislike her husband’s friends, and she will take care of their son after the ceremony.
Even though she will be divorcing her husband, she clarified that this doesn’t diminish the fact that her husband’s friends are essentially as close as family to her son, and she doesn’t want to cause issues on their special day.
She predicted that if she found somewhere else to live after the divorce, her husband probably would, too.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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