This 30-year-old woman and her husband, 31, have been married for seven years and in a relationship for 13 years total.
They have a 5-year-old son and live in a rural area.
Conveniently, her family lives right next door, so they’ve been able to take care of their son while she and her husband work.
Unfortunately, once they had their son, her husband didn’t participate much in the day-to-day parenting that she needed help with.
Instead, he left the labor of parenting for her to do on her own for the first two years of their son’s life.
“He was only interested in outings and family gatherings since then, with the exception of being frustrated or angry with our son at what I felt were inappropriate times (for example, potty training was a long process, and after the six-month mark, I had to curb some shaming remarks and the occasional frustrated yelling). All this and more has led to me feeling like the ‘married, single mother,” she said.
When she accepted the fact that her husband didn’t care about their son, she also accepted that she sadly wasn’t important to him, either.
In hindsight, she acknowledged that for most of their relationship, everything was focused on her husband. They only did what he wanted to do, and they only went to the places he wanted to go to. Their dates were centered around what her husband was interested in, and when he bought her presents, they weren’t things that she actually wanted but were instead things that he liked.
“If he wants me to do something, even if I’m sick, he will guilt me into doing it. If we have an argument about something, he changes the topic completely or tells me I’m being too sensitive or making myself a victim. Overall, I’ve spent the last three years trying to get my relationship to work, but now that I know he won’t even put in effort for our child, I don’t have the energy or drive to do it anymore,” she explained.