She’s Refusing To Attend Her Best Friend’s Wedding After Her Boyfriend Was Cut From The Guest List, Even Though She’s The Maid Of Honor And Has Spent Thousands Of Dollars Helping Plan The Event
This 25-year-old woman has been good friends with Jane, also 25, since they were in elementary school.
Jane is like a sister to her. In 2024, Jane is getting married. She and one of their other mutual friends, Emily, were asked to be co-maids of honor at the wedding, and they were both honored to be able to fill this role.
All of them are from the south, where wedding traditions are a prevalent part of their culture.
She has never agreed with the massive southern weddings and the traditions that go along with them, but she was thrilled to be one of the maids of honor at Jane’s wedding.
As a supportive friend, she wanted to do whatever she could to make Jane’s special day a dream come true for her.
Over the years, Jane’s friendship with Emily has been a roller coaster. At times, Jane expressed that if she met Emily in the present moment, she didn’t believe that they would be close friends.
It’s been two years since Jane asked her and Emily to be co-maids of honor. Jane was hoping to be engaged for a while before getting married so that she had plenty of time to plan the wedding.
Throughout the last couple of years, there have been changes within the three women’s friendship.
Not long ago, Emily got engaged, and this helped her and Jane bond over wedding-related topics.
Tinashe Njaku/peopleimages.com – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
She was content with this because she was a bit tired of Jane nonstop talking about her wedding with her.
However, her feelings quickly shifted to frustration when she realized that Emily was suddenly too busy to help her with wedding planning as one of the maids of honor, so she was now stuck doing everything by herself.
Several days ago, due to the wedding venue restrictions, Jane had to narrow down her guest list.
Jane wasn’t upset about this because there were tons of great aunts and second cousins that her grandmother had requested her to include that she was perfectly fine with no longer inviting.
She offered to help Jane with narrowing down the list of guests so that they could get a better idea of where everyone would be seated.
“However, when I saw the list of potential guests to cut, I saw my partner’s name. I didn’t think much of it. Of course, my boyfriend of five years would be attending with me, right? I have been Jane’s go-to with all things wedding planning. I’ve exhausted hours over the last two years to commit to helping her plan her perfect day. I have taken days off work and spent thousands of dollars on wedding festivities for her,” she said.
Unfortunately, Jane did indeed want to cut her boyfriend from the guest list. Jane informed her that she no longer wanted to allow anyone from the wedding party to have a plus-one, making the exception for “those who are in ‘serious, committed relationships.'”
When she asked Jane what she meant by that, Jane told her that she would only allow those in her wedding party to bring a plus-one if they were engaged to the person. Understandably, she was deeply hurt by this.
“I have been with my partner for five years; we live together, and Jane has known him since we were kids. Emily is recently engaged (less than a year of dating) and was told it was okay for her to bring her fiancé because it met Jane’s criteria,” she explained.
In her view, Emily’s fiancé is a complete jerk, and he always starts a scene at events because he gets way too intoxicated.
She confronted Jane and told her that this rule was hurtful and unfair. This caused an argument between the two of them, and afterward, they haven’t spoken to one another.
Upon reflection, she feels terrible because she wants to support Jane on one of the most important days of her life.
But she thinks it’s wrong that she should be expected to spend the entire day and night by herself while the engaged couples of the wedding party get to have fun.
While everyone else in the wedding party was also stunned by Jane’s new rule about plus-ones, none of them had to worry because they all fit into the exception to the rule.
“Most bridesmaids date groomsmen, so they are already going to have their partner there, or they were engaged and labeled ‘serious enough to be in attendance.’ Emily has put zero effort into being her co-maid of honor, and it feels like I’m being singled out for some reason. Jane’s family is like my family, and will ask why my partner is not with me. I guess I’ll have to respond that it’s because ‘We aren’t serious enough,'” she shared.
Eventually, she told Jane that she would be uncomfortable going to her wedding if she wasn’t allowed to invite her partner.
In response, Jane called her an “entitled brat” and told her that the wedding wasn’t about what she wanted. After thinking it over, she understood Jane’s point and agreed, so now she wonders if she’s wrong for wanting to bring her partner as a plus-one.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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