He Finally Asked For A Divorce Because His Wife Started Talking To Another Guy And Then Even Went To Stay With Him In Seattle
This man is in the process of divorcing his wife, Rachel. While in high school, Rachel dated someone named Paul. They eventually broke up, lost touch as the years went on, and have now gotten back in contact.
Before he and Rachel met, she and Paul had talks here and there about getting back together. However, it didn’t work out that way, and Rachel and Paul remained friends instead.
At first, he didn’t have a problem with his wife being friends with Paul. Over the course of their relationship, they had established trust in one another. He never felt like he should be concerned about anything Rachel was doing.
Rachel and Paul communicate almost exclusively through Snapchat. They talk every single day on the app.
“One time, when their streak got wiped, Rachel contacted Snapchat to have it reinstated. I swear that Paul receives more selfies from Rachel in a week than I would in an entire year,” he said.
Rachel has never understood why talking to Paul constantly on Snapchat is a big deal. But if a woman even just looks his way, Rachel gets mad, and he has to talk her through it to make her feel better.
About a month ago, he let Rachel know that her friendship with Paul was starting to make him envious and concerned that he wasn’t important to her.
After a couple of days, Rachel had a talk with him, explaining that she deeply loves him and she does view him as important in her life.
Rachel continued and let him know that she had canceled brunch with Paul so that the two of them could hang out together.
Janisphoto – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
“She stood me up. Then, she said she would make it up to me the next weekend. She stood me up again. I then (stupidly, I feel like) asked her if she would like to hang out again,” he explained.
Rachel was married before, and the man she had been married to sadly passed away. She and her late husband had a child together.
So, she told him that she could definitely get together, but it would have to be after she and her child were done visiting her late husband’s parents.
Unfortunately, Rachel flaked on their scheduled plans for a third time, but he wasn’t as angry this time because she was with her child and her late husband’s family, so he felt like her reason for canceling was more valid.
Recently, Rachel has been visiting Paul in Seattle. This upset him, and he stopped answering her text messages.
One Saturday night, Rachel sent him a text to assure him that she loved him and would be there to support him. She added that if he ever wanted to talk, she would be all ears.
In response, he repeated what he previously told her about how he was envious of her friendship with Paul. He concluded his text message by apologizing and saying that he hadn’t meant to ruin her vacation.
All she said back was that he hadn’t ruined her trip; she didn’t want him to be concerned about that, and she once more told him she loved him.
It baffled him that Rachel didn’t acknowledge his feelings of jealousy, so he told her that he felt like they shouldn’t communicate until she returned home from her trip.
She accepted this idea and asked that he reach out if he needed anything. This wasn’t the outcome he’d intended. When he told her they shouldn’t talk for the rest of her trip, his hope was that this would motivate her to put in more effort. But his plan backfired.
He was stunned that she didn’t seem bothered at all. Later, he let Rachel know that he wanted to divorce.
She hasn’t come home yet from Seattle, and he still believes that she doesn’t value him or their marriage.
Since she left for this trip, he found out that for at least the last couple of months, she had been thinking about marrying Paul if their marriage didn’t work out.
Throughout their marriage, he doesn’t feel like Rachel has paid enough attention to him. He is nearly deaf in his left ear, and he explained this to her not long after they started dating and requested that she stay on his right side so that he could always hear her.
To this day, she still doesn’t remember to do this, and she either mocks him for his hearing loss or acts irritated by it.
Over the years, Rachel has often whined that he doesn’t do enough for her, but from his point of view, this isn’t true. Plus, she doesn’t do anything for him.
Paul has a son who turned 21 not long ago, so Rachel enjoys getting together with his son because he’s old enough to drink and party with her.
“Honestly, Rachel has been there more for Paul’s kid than her own. She will go 24 hours without even texting her kid, let alone calling. It’s sad she doesn’t really care about her kid that much since they’re trans, and that’s an issue for her,” he shared.
Rachel disrespects her child by purposely deadnaming them and referring to them as the incorrect gender, often doing so when she’s angry with her child. She has also whined to him about how she wanted her child to be “normal.”
Her child is one of the most significant and wonderful people to come into his life, and her child is part of why he has stayed in this marriage for this long.
As he thinks about the idea of divorce, he would feel terrible that Rachel’s child would be stuck with a mother who’s so unsupportive. Because of how much she mistreats her child, over time, this has caused her child to become distant from her.
He would be thrilled if he could allow Rachel’s child to live with him all the time, but he acknowledged how disappointing it is that she isn’t an ally for her child, who needs support.
Luckily, Rachel’s child knows that he supports, cares, and loves them. Currently, he works two jobs and is the primary breadwinner in their marriage.
Besides not spending time with him, Rachel also hasn’t been the one to initiate intimacy in a really long time.
Upon reflection, he realizes how unappreciative Rachel has been. On one occasion, she and her mother went on a cruise together while he stayed home.
While Rachel was away, he deep-cleaned the whole basement, their bedroom, and the bathroom. After she returned from the cruise, she made a mess of the place, undoing all of his hard work in a matter of days.
Another time, Rachel was in Seattle. Since he was busy working, he only had enough free time to clean the basement and bathroom.
When she got home, she was mad at him for not cleaning the bedroom. He realizes that he has been married to Rachel for so long that he wasn’t sure at first if it was wrong to ask for a divorce, but he’s going forward with ending the marriage.
Now, he’s searching for a new place to start his new life alone. His goal is to be completely moved out before Rachel comes back from Seattle.
In his view, Rachel is attempting to make Paul and his son her new family, disregarding him and her own child in the process.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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