Her Boyfriend Thinks He Should Get A Say In What She Wears
This 23-year-old girl and her 26-year-old boyfriend have been dating for more than one year so far, and she truly is in love with him.
She wants to do everything she can to make things work between them, but she’s currently concerned about sharing her future with him over one thing: her boyfriend thinks he should get a say in what she wears.
Back when she first started dating her boyfriend, she made it clear to him that she has a major problem with anyone telling her what to do.
She also informed him she can’t date a guy who is controlling. He understood her position, though never weighed in with his opinion.
But recently, her boyfriend said to her she should not get to wear clothes he feels are revealing, as he thinks it’s a sign of respect for him.
The thing is, she never wears anything revealing, except once in a blue moon when she’s going out with her friends.
Her boyfriend insists him dictating what she can wear doesn’t stem from envy, though she knows he has bad self-esteem and a jealousy problem, so she isn’t buying what he says.
Her boyfriend has argued that she needs to find a compromise with her clothes, as he does not want to be disrespected.
However, she finds it disrespectful that he would try to tell her what to wear in the first place. She doesn’t see how she can make her boyfriend happy about this topic, except if she does do what he says.
Valerii Apetroaiei – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“Especially because he gave me an example saying if we were going out and I was wearing something revealing and I wouldn’t change, he would just stay home,” she explained.
“I hope this was said out of the heat of the discussion, but also fear this is his perception of a compromise. When it comes to me, I don’t see how me having to change how I dress is a compromise in the first place. I love fashion and clothes and never wear clothes to get ”male attention” or anything like that.”
“I don’t have the greatest body image as of late and I use clothes to make myself feel beautiful. Men will find a way to be gross and stare even if I’m wearing a sweater, so I don’t see how what I wear makes a difference. Fashion and clothes are a part of what I am, and I feel like he’s asking me to give up a part of me I’m not willing to give up.”
To think she might have to spend the rest of her life with her boyfriend finding an issue with what’s in her closet makes her feel stressed out and oppressed.
This is literally the only problem she has in her relationship, and every time she tries to talk about it, things get heated.
She’s failing to see how she can discuss this with her boyfriend, as it’s important to her to get him to understand her side.
“I really love this man, but he doesn’t see my point of view at all, even though I’m trying to be empathetic to his,” she said.
“I understand he doesn’t care about style or fashion, so he doesn’t see it as a form of self-expression, and I also know that the American culture is different towards men being controlling in the relationship and it’s more normalized.”
“But I don’t see how what I wear has anything to do with him or has to be something I can compromise on. It was a boundary I set early on, and I feel like he should’ve expressed his opinion much earlier in the relationship.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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