His Wife Asked For A Separation Because He Was A “Man-Child,” But Now That He’s Gotten His Life On Track, She Wants To Get Back Together, And He Isn’t Interested
A while ago, this man’s wife requested a separation because she told him she was tired of his “man-child” behavior. He acknowledged that her description of him was pretty accurate. He prioritized video games over housework. He never remembered important things, and he wasn’t a present father, which meant that his wife was the primary caregiver to their children.
He became anxious when his wife was constantly “nagging” him to participate in their household. Eventually, it reached the point where his wife could no longer put up with taking on all the labor herself, so she told him to leave.
“I just felt a sense of relief. No more nagging, no more stress, nothing. When I got to my apartment, I cleaned everything. I stopped forgetting things. It made sense to wash dishes now; it made sense to make my bed. I felt the urge to clean,” he said.
On his own, he changed into a new person. He suddenly took parenting more seriously and was more present as a father to his children. Finally, he understood the importance of making lunches for his kids and reading to them at night before bed because he couldn’t rely on his wife to do all of the parenting.
Before his wife kicked him out of the house, he “felt burdened” by parenting duties and felt no motivation to participate. Even though he still played video games while living on his own after the separation, he noticed that it wasn’t as much of an obsession or escape as it used to be. It seemed as if the apathy he used to have about parenting and housework disappeared the moment he was living by himself.
While doing online research for tips on moving forward after separation and divorce, he saw a lot of insight about the importance of going to the gym.
He went to a gym once but realized that it wasn’t something he’d want to stick with. Instead, he did jumping jacks and other exercises for about 15 minutes per day. He also started eating a more balanced diet. Throughout the last four months, he has lost 30 pounds.
“I have been dipping my toes into dating, too, and I have (or had) a kind of friends-with-benefits situationship. I am taking things casual for now. All in all, my life is going on an upward trajectory. I have realized that I am not a man-child–more so, my wife is a bad partner,” he explained.
He blamed his wife for the fact that he played video games to escape adult responsibilities. In his view, his wife didn’t motivate him to be an active parent and husband.
Drobot Dean – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Since he was able to clean up after himself and effectively parent his children when he was by himself, it seemed like he had room to improve when he and his wife were separated.
“My wife has seen the change in me and wants to get back together. I was wishy-washy in rejecting her at first, but I have made up my mind now and told her she is better off without me (which is actually true; she was not wrong in leaving me, for her and me),” he shared.
Despite his refusal to move back in, his wife has been trying to convince him to change his mind, telling him that she knows what’s best for her life and that she believes that getting back together would be the best decision.
He thinks he was kind when he rejected the idea, and he was careful not to be a jerk. But his wife wouldn’t move on, and he thought the rejection must have hurt her pride.
When his wife questioned why he didn’t want to move back in, he expressed that her life would be better without him in it.
While he and his wife were separated, he’d posted a photo on social media of him and the woman he was hooking up with out on a hike.
His wife saw the photo and reached out to the woman, letting her know that he has children and is still legally married, warning the woman not to tear a family apart.
After this, the woman told him that she didn’t want to deal with this toxicity and chaos and broke off their situationship, which upset him.
He was confused about why his wife contacted the woman he was seeing. From his perspective, he’d been respectful but clear. He didn’t think he was giving his wife the wrong idea, but she refused to move on.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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