His Wife Gave Him An Ultimatum: Either Open Up Their Marriage, Or They’re Getting Divorced
A little under three years ago, this 38-year-old man’s wife, 36-year-old Sarah, pretty much gave him an ultimatum.
She said they could either open up their marriage or they’re getting divorced. He thought a lot about his options, and he told Sarah he was on board for an open marriage.
He mainly said yes to what Sarah wanted because they have two children, and the hours he works are insane.
The alternative, a divorce, sounded absolutely terrible to him, so that’s why he went along with Sarah’s wishes.
Along with agreeing, he informed Sarah that he was enforcing a few rules. Namely, dating mutual friends, coworkers, or anyone they both knew was off the table, they were not allowed to bring their dates home, and they had to keep everything confidential.
So, for the two years after that conversation, he put all of his attention into their kids and his career. Since he worked exceptionally long hours, he had no free time to spend on anyone except the kids.
He had no time to date, so he didn’t even try that out. He also ended up moving into another room in their house, as he didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as Sarah if she was also sleeping with other men.
He didn’t ask Sarah about her personal life since he didn’t want to know, and things between him and Sarah turned purely transactional. Basically, he and Sarah were just two people co-parenting, and that was it.
Over the summer, he was able to hit his money goals. He currently has no debt, and he has saved enough money for his kids to attend college.
Denys – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He also created funds for his kids to be able to put deposits on their first homes when it comes time for that.
He then thought he didn’t want to work 74 hours a week anymore, so he dropped his hours down to 30 a week.
Sarah then asked if they could buy another house and a new car too, but he said no, as he was happy to no longer be in debt.
“I used my free time to finally have a vacation I really needed and took my older son with me to tour the US together,” he explained.
“Did some renovation work on our house, turned basement into a man cave. Started working out, playing sports, leading a healthier life.”
“Then I actually started trying to land a date. For me, just [sleeping] with somebody is…not my thing. I want to at least be a friend before that. To go out together, watch movies, have fun, AND [sleep together]. So I dated a couple of women and found a “Jane” with whom I clicked.”
He and Jane went to art galleries, concerts, movies, and comic cons together. Things also got physical between them.
But then, Sarah got curious and began trying to discuss the dates he went on with Jane. He shut Sarah down, as that went against one of their primary rules of an open marriage.
Later on, he caught Sarah going through his phone, and they got into a pretty big fight over that invasion of his privacy.
“Now Sarah wants to update the terms of our open marriage,” he said. “She wants us to repair our marriage by going to the counselor; she wants us to sleep in the same room, to go outside and have fun together.”
Sarah thinks that outside of their own marriage, any relationship with someone else they want to have should be only physical and nothing more.
So, not emotional. Sarah also wants them to discuss their other partners in detail with each other.
But, he’s not alright with Sarah changing the rules of their arrangement after he found Jane. He wants to keep things as is.
“I told her that I am content with the situation as it is, and I don’t mind if she finds a partner to go out with,” he continued.
“I encouraged her to. And I don’t want to talk about our partners. She is holding her ground. At this point, I’m split between trying to fix our marriage and handing her the divorce papers.”
What do you think he should do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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