His Wife Left Him For Her Coworker But Now Wants Him Back, And He’s Struggling To Feel Comfortable With Her
This 30-year-old man was with his 29-year-old wife for 8 years and married for less than two when things completely fell apart.
He thought their marriage was full of love and adventure, and he was so happy to be with his wife, but she hardly felt the same way.
Right after he and his wife tied the knot, she informed him that she was upset about several things in their relationship.
She then voiced to him that she was not positive marrying him was the right thing to do, as it means she will never know if there is another man out there who is a better fit for her.
“Eventually, after a year and change of witnessing my wife’s withdrawal from me emotionally, despite my best efforts, she informed me she didn’t want our relationship anymore,” he explained.
“It completely broke me; I loved her so much, I tried so hard, and I felt like our marriage was really improving. She let me know she wasn’t 100% on getting married, but still agreed anyway.”
He knew he had to let go and focus on healing instead of trying to think he could have done something different or better.
He finally accepted that the problem in his marriage never was him; it was his wife’s issue with communicating clearly.
He wished his wife chose to work things out with them instead of leaving, and he later learned she essentially left him for one of her male coworkers.
Roman – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He started hearing from other people that although his wife was all in with this coworker, that relationship didn’t pan out for her.
Four months went by, marking six months of him and his wife being separated, and then his wife began contacting him.
She said she made an impulsive and horrible choice, and she wished she could turn back time and work on figuring their marriage out.
She also claimed that she needed some time apart from him and space to figure it all out after feeling like she was lost.
His wife’s confession really upset him, as he was nothing but patient and supportive of her, yet when he needed her the most, she walked out on him.
“I made her come clean about everything she’s been up to,” he added. “She said she left me because she was curious about life without me.”
“We got together young, and I admit we probably spent too much time together. But I was hoping we could’ve found a balance together. She was curious about other guys, what it’s like to live on her own etc.”
“I’m understanding of what she says, but at the same time, we choose to be with our partner knowing there are tradeoffs. I told her as a condition, if I’m going to feel this out, she needs to be in therapy, and we need to seek couples therapy.”
His wife promised she never slept with another guy in their time apart, and she also said her coworker rejected her as she was trying to date other guys at the same time.
She also promises she instantly felt regret breaking up with him, and he does believe everything his wife is saying.
In the end, he told his wife they can start seeing one another again and go from there. He has witnessed his wife attempting to fix everything so far. He still loves her, even if he can’t bring himself to look her in the eyes.
“It hurts me, the things she did to end the relationship keep replaying in my head,” he said. “We’ve been seeing each other regularly for about 4 months, including 1 month of couples therapy, and my dilemma is, after this time, I still don’t feel comfortable around her.”
“We don’t argue or anything, we never did. The [physical part] is nice, the communication is more open than it was before. I just. Feel nothing. It’s weird. I don’t want to kiss her, or hold her hand, or tell her jokes or anything.”
“Is there something I need to do? Or is this a bad sign that she might’ve broken my perception of her to an irreparable point? I’m not sure what I want. The majority of me wants to end this, but there’s this curiosity that keeps me around, and it sucks.”
What advice do you have for him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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