She Wants To Divorce Her Husband Following The Passing Of Their Daughter Because He’s Completely Withdrawn From Her Due To The Grief
This 36-year-old woman and her husband, Liam, 39, have been married for the last 11 years and in a relationship for 15 years in total. Tragically, Liam and their daughter, 6, the light of their lives, were in a car accident a couple of years ago when Liam took her out to get ice cream.
Liam was driving when they were hit by a drunk driver who was in the wrong lane, and he was in the ICU for a month. Sadly, their daughter passed away at the scene of the wreck.
She was at home when the accident occurred, and she learned the awful news when the hospital called to inform her that Liam was gravely injured and her daughter had died. When Liam found out their daughter didn’t survive the accident, he went into a state of shock.
“Ever since then, Liam has completely withdrawn from me. He took off all the pictures that contained our daughter, turned her room into his study, and pretended as if our daughter never existed. I knew he was grieving. Many times, I have heard him silently weeping in our daughter’s room,” she said.
Since their daughter’s death, she has done all she can to try to convince Liam to go to therapy or for them to attend therapy together. Unfortunately, every time she brings up the topic of therapy, he rejects the idea and is explosively angry.
He screams at her, smashes things, and marches out of the house, not returning to the house for a couple of days, which, of course, causes her to be overcome with anxiety over his well-being.
“He barely comes home nowadays, completely avoids me, and rejects my every attempt for comfort. Once, when I had tried to make him understand that this wasn’t what our daughter would have wanted, he completely lost it, smashed a flowerpot against the wall, and told me to die and never come back,” she explained.
Liam’s violent anger is totally out of character. Before this tragedy, he was kind, relaxed, and collected. Of course, he deeply loves their daughter and had a close bond with her. They were so close, in fact, that her first word was “‘Dada.'”
As time has passed, she’s begun to feel conflicted. While she still cares about Liam and loves him, she desperately misses their daughter and needs support while going through her grief journey. Neither of them has siblings, and their closest friends live in other countries.
leszekglasner – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Liam’s father passed away not long after their daughter was born, and he is no-contact with his mother. Her parents have done their best to provide her with emotional support through this painful loss and life adjustment, but they didn’t give her much helpful advice in regard to Liam’s behavior.
“They told me to be patient with him and to help him get back on his feet, but I am tired. I’ve tried everything. Earlier, we used to share the household chores, but now I have completely taken them on myself so that he can grieve in peace. I cook his favorite meals, which he throws away without even taking a single bite,” she shared.
A couple of months ago, she realized she couldn’t take it anymore. She gave Liam an ultimatum, telling him that if he continued refusing to go to counseling, she would file for divorce.
In response, Liam smiled bitterly and said he was thankful that she was showing him who she truly was. Then, he urged her to go through with filing for divorce since she could tell how much she wanted to be rid of him.
Now, she’s terrible, inadequate, and at fault. But at the same time, she knows that if Liam doesn’t start going to therapy, their marriage is unsustainable.
She’s in therapy at the moment, and her therapist advised her to temporarily separate from Liam before filing for divorce.
In their sessions, they discussed how Liam most likely is experiencing survivor’s guilt and is struggling to even be around her because she reminds him so much of their daughter. Her intention in threatening to file for divorce was a last-ditch effort to see if he would become less distant from her.
So far, it seems like he’s been trying to be home more often than he used to be. Plus, he’s been contributing to housework again and hasn’t screamed at her since she gave him the ultimatum. He hasn’t gone to therapy yet, but she’s holding onto hope that he will do so in the future.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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