He Asked To See His Wife’s Phone After She Received A Random Message From A Coworker At Midnight, And His Wife’s Reaction Has Left Him Torn
This man and his wife have had a wonderful marriage over the past 15 years, and they have two children together. Last Saturday, at about midnight, his wife wanted him to watch some videos she found on her phone.
While he was looking at her phone, a text notification popped up. His wife hurriedly swiped the notification away, but there was no denying that both of them knew she’d received a text.
At first, he didn’t address the notification, but he was irritated by how quickly and anxiously his wife swiped the notification away as if she didn’t want him to see it, so he chose to start getting ready for bed. Then, he confronted his wife, questioning who was texting her at midnight. Her first response was that she had no idea who it was.
He told her that she should probably check, just in case it was something urgent. After that, his wife told him the truth, that the text was from a man she used to work with at a job she had four years ago.
Apparently, her old co-worker asked her what she was doing awake at midnight. He didn’t say anything and just rolled over in bed, unable to sleep for several hours because he was ruminating about his wife’s suspicious behavior.
On Tuesday, he had a talk with his wife. Throughout the days leading up to this conversation, he couldn’t even look at her because of how upset he was, and he had a million racing thoughts and a million questions. So, he started by asking his wife when she last spoke with her co-worker, and she told him that it had been several months ago.
“They occasionally congratulate each other on promotions and such. Fine. But then I discussed how she openly lied to my face, knowing full well who messaged her and that the totality of the circumstances was hard to accept as innocent. I reinforced that I was deeply hurt about being lied to in such an open and obvious situation,” he said.
Thankfully, he feels confident that his wife has never had a physical affair. She works remotely, and since they are both present in their parenting roles, they’re both incredibly busy. However, he acknowledged that he would be crushed if he discovered that his wife had engaged in an emotional affair.
After this initial discussion, he thought about the situation more, and he came to the decision to ask his wife if she kept the conversations between her and her co-worker and, if so, if he could read the conversations.
Jacob Lund – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
So, he confronted his wife to find out if she still had the conversations saved, and she told him she deleted them. He questioned why she did so, and she claimed that she always deleted old messages, regardless of who the messages were from.
“I then asked if I could see it, and she let me. It was all done via Facebook Messenger, so I attempted to find it in the archives, but it wasn’t there, either. I asked if she could click the messenger icon from his Facebook profile page, and she broke down about it being such a terrible situation,” he explained.
According to his wife, the messages with her co-worker never crossed the line too much, but there was some harmless flirtation years ago. His wife flirting with another man didn’t bother him because he knows how common it is for people to flirt with one another. In addition, she told him that she and her co-worker hadn’t messaged each other since October.
“But it took a lot for her to let me see the phone, where there was a chance that I find something more. To the point where I told her if I didn’t see it, I’d assume the worst and would likely be looking for someplace else to stay the night. I’m not sure how to proceed from here. Trust is currently at an all-time low,” he shared.
Despite feeling somewhat sympathetic toward his wife, who is now an emotional wreck over the tension between them, he pointed out that she caused this tension in the first place because she was the one secretly flirting with someone else behind his back and acting suspiciously about it. So, his sympathy only goes so far.
It’s unfortunate that he can’t think of another method of finding the long-deleted Facebook messages, but there isn’t a way to do so that he knows of. He assumed that their marriage was in for some tough times, and he told his wife that they should look into couples therapy.
For most of their marriage, they’ve barely argued or had any problems at all. Up until this point, it had mostly been smooth sailing. His wife seems incredibly remorseful and shameful about her actions, so he’s pretty sure she’s been honest that all she did was harmlessly flirt with her co-worker and nothing more.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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