Her Fiancé Accused Her Of Using Her Disability To Manipulate Him
Ever since she was born, this 27-year-old woman has been disabled. Her disability is extremely rare, and she is incredibly open about what she struggles with.
Her disability causes her joints to be restricted, and she is constantly in pain. She also has a hip problem that is getting worse.
Some days are better than others for her in terms of dealing with her disability. If she does too much on a given day, she needs to give herself another day to recover.
“I’ve had to deal with this since birth, so I’m very attuned to what my body is telling me and what I can/cannot do,” she explained.
“I will consistently push myself to my limits without going over them; that way, I can get done as much as possible in a day. I struggle with certain things, and laundry is one of those things.”
“Our washer/dryer is head-height, which makes things easier, so I’m able to do most of the process. It’s when I have to transfer the wet, heavy clothes that I start to struggle. I’m quite weak, so it gets very exhausting very quickly. He knows all of this.”
As for who he is, that’s her 26-year-old fiancé, whom she has been engaged to for five years and been with for eight years in total.
Yesterday morning, she went out shopping, and that really exhausted her. Later on, her fiancé asked if she could help him do their laundry, and she informed him that since she was already worn down, she couldn’t.
Doing laundry would push her over the edge for the day, and she knew it wasn’t a good idea to put herself in that position.
Tatyana – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Her fiancé was irritated with her and ended up snapping. He demanded to know if she meant that she will never help with the laundry in their home ever.
She clarified that she can help do laundry, but it has to be on days when she hasn’t already had a full plate of activities.
She then stated she could help him get the laundry done the following day, as she would be rested enough to complete the task.
They kept arguing a bit, and her fiancé got even more displeased with her. Meanwhile, she was left feeling hurt that he wasn’t getting where she was coming from.
Eventually, her fiancé questioned her about whether she had used her disability in order to manipulate him, which made her sick to her stomach.
“I can’t believe he’d ask something like that,” she said. “He’s seen me at my worst, sobbing because of the pain and the surgeries I’ve had and will need in the future.”
“I hate that this is my life, and I hate inconveniencing people with it. I downplay it a lot. I usually pretend I have a sports injury when talking to strangers. I’ve never used it as an excuse. The only way I manipulate people is by pretending it’s not as bad as it actually is.”
“He’s been extremely apologetic since and even brought me breakfast in bed for the first time in years. He allowed me to sleep all day today because I’d overdone it so badly yesterday. He even let me have some of his fancy whisky, which he’d never normally do. He feels so guilty.”
While her fiancé is clearly sorry and can acknowledge how much damage his words did, she can’t move past it.
She’s sad and furious, and she figured her fiancé understood her disability. He has gone to her doctor’s appointments and has heard from medical professionals how severe her problems are.
He has viewed her X-rays and various scans. He is aware of the number of painkillers she has to ingest simply to make it through every single day.
So she doesn’t understand how he could accuse her of using her disability to manipulate him, as it’s not even remotely close to the truth.
“I don’t want to lose him, but I feel the need to tell him every five minutes that what he did hurt me and is still hurting me,” she said.
“I’m obviously not actually doing that, but I just feel like I need to. What do I do?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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