Her Mom Won’t Stop Pressuring Her To Have Kids, But She Just Doesn’t Want Any After Being Forced To Raise Her Brothers During Childhood
This 26-year-old woman has two younger brothers, 15 and 9. Her mom had her when she was 21-years-old. Unfortunately, she took care of her brothers for most of her childhood. She even stayed awake at night to give them a bottle and change their diapers.
Years later, she picked up and dropped off her brothers at practice for the sports teams they were on. She prepared their school lunches and did the laundry.
“My parents owned a very popular restaurant/bar, so they spent multiple nights out of the week and weekends at the restaurant. I know they were not always working because they would come stumbling into the house in the middle of the night, drunk and loud,” she said.
Because she was so busy taking on parenting responsibilities, she didn’t have much time to hang out with her friends, and it was a tough time in her life. She was trying to stay on top of her schoolwork and was always exhausted and struggling with her mental health due to all of the responsibilities she was expected to take on at such a young age.
Even when she expressed to her parents how overwhelmed she was with taking care of her brothers, they brushed aside her feelings and made her feel like it was her duty to continue raising them herself.
After high school, she went off to college, and her life improved. She found a great group of friends and met her boyfriend, 28. Now, she and her boyfriend have been in a relationship for four years and live together.
So much is going right in her life, from her career to her friendships to her love life. Since she has the time to focus on herself, she practices more self-care. She enjoys taking hikes with her puppy and lifting weights. Luckily, her boyfriend supports her and accepts that she needs ample time for herself.
“My mom is obsessed with the idea of having grandchildren. She wants one so bad. I do not want kids. I don’t resent my brothers or my parents, but I do not want to be a parent. Anytime she sees a baby, she goes on about grandchildren. When she finds my old baby stuff, she says, ‘I guess I can throw this stuff out since no one will be using it,'” she explained.
During these conversations, her mother assures her that it wouldn’t be too overwhelming for her if she only had one child, adding that she would be self-centered to forego having kids since the rest of the family has had kids. From her perspective, being a parent doesn’t sound like a good time, so she doesn’t understand what the problem is with deciding not to have children.
Drobot Dean – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
One day, she and her family went out to dinner, and they saw a family enter the restaurant with a baby, and her mother commented on it.
“She immediately started gushing and made a snarky remark that I won’t have a child. I got very annoyed and snapped at her. I told her that I don’t want kids because I raised hers, that she should stop guilting me, and she only wants one because she regrets not being there for us,” she shared.
Then, she told her mother that she created a wonderful life on her own after high school and pointed out that her mother should be happy that she believed in herself enough to find success and that she took such good care of her brothers.
Her words angered her mother, and the dinner ended not long after the argument. Afterward, her father told her that she was out of line for what she said, but her boyfriend thought it was great that she stood up for herself.
Upon reflection, she feels guilty for being snippy with her mother and for being so angry while her brothers were there.
However, she made sure to let her brothers know later that she loved them very much and didn’t resent the amount of time she spent caring for them. While she loves her mother dearly, she despises that her mother won’t drop the subject of children.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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