His Wife Said She’s Divorcing Him And Picking Her Deadbeat Adult Son
Some red flags don’t wave, they stand there like giant flashing billboards, and still, we convince ourselves we can swerve around them.
This man thought he was entering a new chapter of peace and partnership in his retirement years. Instead, he’s watching his marriage unravel over something he brought up before the vows were even exchanged: his wife’s grown, unemployed son who refuses to get his life together.
What was supposed to be a short stay turned into two years of chaos, entitlement, and nonstop enabling. And now, when he finally draws a line, his wife’s response isn’t compromise—it’s packing her bags and threatening divorce.
Anyway, he has spent the last three years married to his wife, and they’re approaching the end of their 50s. Prior to marrying his wife, he addressed the elephant in the room: her deadbeat 30-year-old son, who had obviously failed to launch.
His wife said that she and her son were not ‘a package deal’ while stating her son was set to move in with his dad, or she would make him figure things out on his own. Ah, a little tough love.
Two years ago, his wife’s son got into trouble with the law and moved in with them. The arrangement was supposed to have been on a temporary basis while her son straightened out his act.
“It is my house, and we have a prenuptial, and all he does is create messes and hangs out using the house amenities,” he explained.
“After waking up today and finding half-eaten food all over the kitchen and trash on the floor, I asked him [to] go clean that up, and he just closed his door.”
He finally said to his wife that her son has to move out, but she argued that since her son has problems, he has to stay.
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To be fair, her son has some serious issues, as he’s witnessed his meltdowns, and her son frequently claims to hear voices. He’s pushed his wife to get her son professional help, but her son won’t go, and she won’t make him.
On top of that, her son refuses to work and prefers to lounge around all day, doing nothing, while his wife enables him.
But circling back to what went down earlier today, he asked his wife what they should do, considering her son can’t get out of his own way.
“She said she will move out with him, and we can get a divorce. Wow, I get it’s her kid, but to just throw away a nice marriage like that,” he added.
“I am coming to grips with it, and with our prenup agreement, we will both be fine financially, but it makes me think that if she can throw me away that easily, that maybe I was just being used, since I provide a nice house and nice things.”
“It was taking its toll on other parts of the marriage, because she said she will never be able to retire because she will have to support him, and we can’t go away on vacation because she doesn’t want to leave him. She was also more fun and carefree before he moved in, and now she is very reserved.”
He got married, expecting to enjoy his golden years, not be burdened by his wife’s adult son. That’s a ball and chain he didn’t sign up for.
He doesn’t have much else to say, except he is leaving you with a PSA: if you are romantically interested with someone who has a lot of baggage that seems like a dealbreaker to you, don’t move past the dating stage, because the problems don’t vanish when you put on a wedding ring.
He’s left wondering whether this marriage was ever really about them, or just about providing a cushy landing pad for someone who refuses to stand on his own.
What advice do you have for him?
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