She Called Off Her Engagement Because Her Fiancé Lied About Never Wanting Kids For Five Years, And Now He’s Trying To Make Her Feel Guilty For Leaving
A year ago, this 29-year-old woman and her now ex-fiancé, 32, got engaged after dating for four years.
When they first met, she was honest with her ex about the fact that she didn’t want to have children. She didn’t have siblings, so she could never envision what being a parent would look like.
The idea of parenthood, in her view, seemed restricting, especially because she prioritized her career.
Plus, she didn’t like the idea of her travels, which she cares about deeply, being put on hold because of potential children. The thought of taking trips with kids sounded horrible to her. Until recently, her fiancé always agreed and said he didn’t want kids.
“Three weeks ago, I discovered he was lying to me. We were eating dinner, and he told me that he ‘changed his mind’ about having kids and that he wants kids now,” she said.
At first, she assumed he was kidding, so she moved on quickly from the topic. After that, her fiancé was angry and marched out of the room. She got up and went after him, asking him what was going on and why he was mad.
Apparently, he didn’t think she cared about the topic of having children. She explained that she didn’t give him much of a response because she’d thought he was kidding.
Her fiancé told her he wouldn’t kid around about such a serious topic. Since he’d repeatedly affirmed for five years that he was on the same page as she was about living a child-free lifestyle, she was baffled.
“He continued to tell me that he lied about not wanting kids because he loves me and wants to be with me. I got mad. For one, he lied to me, and then, what was the plan after that? To manipulate me, make me feel guilty until he convinced me to have kids I didn’t want?” she wondered.
halayalex – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Unfortunately, she knows firsthand what it’s like to have a mother who doesn’t want to be a parent. She was her mom’s only child because she was the guinea pig.
Her mom chose not to have more kids because of how little she enjoyed motherhood after giving it a try.
“As a kid whose mom didn’t want her, I would NEVER want to make anyone feel as unloved and left out as I did as a child,” she shared.
Her ex-fiancé knew about her childhood and how unwanted she’d felt because she spoke about these experiences and feelings with him often.
After the argument, she thought things through. Last week, she came to her decision and told her ex that she didn’t want to marry him anymore. He was stunned and furious and kicked her out of the place they shared.
For the time being, she’s living with her aunt until she’s able to find an apartment to move into. Her ex has repeatedly called her to try to pressure her into going through with the wedding, and he’s doing all he can to guilt her into it.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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