She Told Her Boyfriend To Stop Asking To Be Praised For Doing The Bare Minimum After He Improvised A Cozy Evening At Home And Acted Like It Was A Grand Gesture
This 22-year-old woman and her boyfriend, 25, have been dating for four years. Last summer, they took a brief hiatus from their relationship because she received a depression diagnosis and was emotionally suffering. Her boyfriend didn’t support her and somewhat minimized her mental illness.
It was painful for her boyfriend to act this way because he’d gone through difficult times in the past, and she did everything possible to support him. She was upset that he didn’t do the same in return when she needed him to.
“I just needed some time alone to do fun things with my friends, but we did stay in contact every now and then. After the summer, we decided to get back together,” she said.
Since they started dating again, her boyfriend became a more supportive partner. She noticed a vast improvement in their relationship, but she continued to notice that she was doing way more to support her boyfriend than he did to support her. Unfortunately, the unequal balance of effort she’d picked up on before they took a break seemed to remain the same.
“I do a lot of our date planning, cooking, and even some cleaning, and we don’t even live together. I plan our vacations and plans with friends,” she explained.
For a while, she’d been sending her boyfriend silly Valentine’s Day-related memes, and she told him that she loved Valentine’s Day, and that the holiday meant a lot to her. The holiday is important in her family because her parents shared their first kiss on Valentine’s Day, and their wedding was on the holiday.
Last year, her boyfriend didn’t plan ahead and forgot about Valentine’s Day, which understandably hurt her feelings. But last night, in an attempt to do better, he asked her if she would be his Valentine this year.
Later that night, he drove to pick her up from the train station, and they stopped at the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for dinner before heading back to his place. As they were leaving the store, they walked by the flower section, and her boyfriend spontaneously bought flowers for her.
“When we got to his house, I wasn’t allowed to enter because he had a ‘surprise.’ When I entered, I saw five lit candles (that I had bought him) and him holding the flowers I just carried home with the groceries. I still thought it was very sweet, even though it felt very improvised and like not a lot of thought went into it,” she shared.
fizkes – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She told her boyfriend thank you, and they had a nice, relaxing night together. However, it eventually was evident that he didn’t make this romantic gesture out of the kindness of his heart.
Today, they had a date planned, but her boyfriend told her he had to cancel because he’d forgotten it was his mother’s birthday and his family was going out to dinner to celebrate.
Sadly, she didn’t receive an invitation to his mother’s birthday dinner, and this isn’t the first time she hasn’t been invited to get-togethers with his family. She and her boyfriend have often bickered about issues related to his family, mainly his mother.
After her boyfriend canceled their date, she was honest about how sad she was. He argued that she shouldn’t be angry with him, pointing out that he sees her as his main priority since he asked her to be his Valentine.
His response infuriated her, and she bitterly retorted that what he did wasn’t that big of a deal, adding that he shouldn’t demand that she applaud him for “doing the bare minimum, or even less.”
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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