She’s Trying To Make Her Boyfriend Start A Family And Settle Down, But She’s Scared He Never Will Want This
Four years ago, this 33-year-old woman began dating her boyfriend, who is the same exact age as her.
All along, she has told her boyfriend that she intends to start a family and settle down, and he has confirmed that they are on the same page.
However, she’s beginning to doubt that they are, and she’s scared her boyfriend will never want this, even though she’s trying to make him settle down soon.
She can’t tell if he wasn’t being honest with her or if he just doesn’t know what it is he wants out of life, but any time they do discuss having children in the future, her boyfriend acts like it’s going to be some kind of ball and chain for him.
“The only time he’s really ever brought up kids was when we were at a restaurant, and he asked me if I thought we would be able to live the same lifestyle after we have kids (he likes living luxurious, fine dining, vacations, etc.),” she explained.
“He tells me that it’s important to maintain our lifestyle after we have kids (date nights, going away by ourselves…).”
“He says things like when we have kids, maybe your mom and my mom can look after them when we go away.”
Her boyfriend will often mention that he sees his own sister with her kids and recognizes it’s an enormous amount of work being a parent.
Her boyfriend loves the kids they have in their life, like his nephews, her nieces, and the kids her friends have.
annanahabed – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He appears to be happy and bubbly when spending time with the kids they know, and she suspects he would be an incredible dad.
But, any time they talk about kids of their own, her boyfriend is extremely negative about the subject.
“I personally feel like having kids will bring us together even more,” she added. “There’s lots of positives to see in a situation it’s how you look at it ultimately. I just don’t get why people have such a negative outlook on having kids, especially men.”
She’s also worried that her boyfriend might view kids as competition since all of her attention will not be on him, and she’ll have to pay attention to the kids too, which he won’t like.
Her boyfriend has indicated to her he wants more time before taking these serious next steps in their relationship, which is upsetting to her.
“I’ve never actually heard him talk about kids in a positive way or in a way that’s joyful, and I’m not sure if this is a red flag,” she said.
“But maybe men see having kids differently than us women do.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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