While Battling Cancer, She Felt Like Her Mom Wasn’t There For Her, So Now That She’s Recovering, She Wants To Cut Her Mom Out Of Her Life
Over the last 16 years, this woman has had a strained relationship with her mother. In recent years, she began to realize that her mother had problems and wasn’t able to display love or be a healthy maternal figure toward her.
She has spoken with her mother many times and expressed her perspective, and after every talk, she felt let down by her mother’s selfishness and heartlessness. Last summer, she sadly received a stage 3 cancer diagnosis. Thankfully, her in-laws gave her a lot of support, but her family, particularly her mother, didn’t.
“I am not on speaking terms with my dad, who I believe is a narcissist. I had a series of scans and appointments at the time to get staging and a treatment plan,” she said.
Throughout her cancer treatment, her mother never asked her for updates on scan results or what happened at follow-up appointments with oncologists.
If she didn’t give her mother treatment and health updates, her mother didn’t reach out to find out how she was doing. Her friends and in-laws brought over homemade meals for her family throughout her treatment, and all her mother did was bring over a bag of apples.
“I was in survival mode, and now that I am coming out the other side, I recognize how she doesn’t bring anything positive to my life, and the darkest period of my life would have been an opportunity for her to step up and show me that I have misunderstood her all these years,” she explained.
When she had conversations with her mother in hopes of resolving their issues, she clearly stated that she wanted her to offer support. According to her mother, she has been supportive of her journey through cancer and doesn’t know what more she could have done to support her.
“I think it was too little, too late, and I feel like cutting her out will provide me some peace and avoid further hurt. I don’t have the energy to continue with the cycle of disappointment,” she shared.
Over and over, her mother has disappointed her, no matter how many talks she’s had with her to explain how upset she feels. She and her husband have a son who’s a toddler, and she’s been experiencing guilt at the idea of her mother no longer being able to visit him.
nenetus – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Because her brother has already cut off communication with their mother, if she followed suit, her mother would have no contact with either of her children or her grandson.
Even though she acknowledged how saddened her mother is with family cutting contact with her, her mother has done nothing to take responsibility for her actions that led to these relationships deteriorating in the first place. Her mother has at least acknowledged that she isn’t an empathetic person.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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