His Wife Wanted To Open Up Their Marriage Even Though He Wasn’t Comfortable, But He Wound Up Finding A Partner Anyway And Losing Love For His Wife, So Now He Wants A Divorce
This 29-year-old man and his wife, 30, have been married for four years and together for seven years. Last year, his wife suggested opening their marriage; he expressed that he was uneasy with that.
He preferred to continue keeping their marriage monogamous, and he thought it was strange his wife suggested opening their marriage because it was out of the blue.
Their marriage was stable, and they’d been discussing having children soon. During the conversation, his wife pleaded for him to change his mind, and eventually, he did. Before opening their marriage, they discussed boundaries and agreed on a few stipulations.
“Here are the boundaries she set: You should always prioritize the spouse instead of the other partner. Do not bring the partner to the shared house. Do not form overly emotional connections,” he said.
After his wife brought up these boundaries, he expressed that he wasn’t positive he’d be able to follow these stipulations because while he enjoys physical affection, he usually develops an emotional connection to the person he’s sleeping with. His wife said he’d be fine because, in her view, men don’t develop emotional bonds during hookups.
His wife didn’t have to put in much time or effort to find another person to sleep with. She was the first person he’d ever dated, so he was insecure about finding a new person to hook up with. He didn’t have much luck with dating when he was in his early 20s, so he wasn’t sure how he’d do this time around now that he was in an open marriage.
Once less overwhelmed with his job, he felt he could dedicate more time to looking for someone to hook up with. He was shocked when many younger women and women his age showed interest.
While he acknowledged that growing up and getting older helped his chances of finding someone, he hadn’t realized how many women would be interested in him.
“I started talking to multiple people but decided to go ahead with only one of them. When I shared this information with my wife, she seemed surprised but congratulated me. She said she was shocked how beautiful this woman is and that I was able to get her,” he explained.
Bjorn B – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He met the woman he’d been hooking up with 10 months ago, and the more he learns about her and the more they hang out, he can’t deny that they have a strong emotional bond. This woman knows about his open marriage and the stipulations he and his wife agreed upon.
Over the last 10 months, the emotional and physical bond he had with his wife steadily diminished.
Even though he knew they agreed not to develop emotional bonds with their other partners, and they understood that they needed to keep each other as their main priorities, he’d told her from the beginning that he wasn’t confident he could abide by these stipulations.
“I had a difficult talk with my wife last week about my situation. She immediately offered to close the relationship and go to couples counseling, but I am not interested, to be honest,” he shared.
Now, he views his wife as a friend rather than a spouse, and he’s terrified that he’s begun to resent her because she suggested opening their marriage. He said that counseling would drag out the emotional pain for him, and he’d rather they divorce.
His wife lost it and sobbed hysterically, accusing him of giving up on their marriage over a hookup.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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