She And Her Boyfriend Plan To Get Engaged Within The Next Year, But She Doesn’t Want To Accept His Grandmother’s Ring Because It Simply Isn’t Her Style
This 24-year-old woman and her boyfriend, 25, have discussed marriage and hope to get engaged this year. They’ve begun to look at engagement rings. She has dreamed about the ring shape she wanted since she was 13. She even created a PowerPoint of her dream wedding.
“I chose a Neil Lane cushion and round-cut diamond ring, 1-1/8 carat total weight and 14 karat gold. I’ve always wanted a cushion cut. He asked if I was sure because he said he could spend up to $10,000, and I said it’s not about the money; this is a dream come true,” she said.
Ever since she was a young girl, she let her mind wander about what this type of ring would look like on her finger. A few weeks ago, she and her boyfriend discussed their upcoming engagement with his grandmother.
His grandma had two sons and a daughter, and her engagement ring had been passed down from her grandma to her mother and then to her. While her boyfriend’s grandma would have passed the ring down to her daughter, tragically, her daughter passed away at 16.
His grandma’s sons are both married, but neither of their spouses took her ring for some reason. Her boyfriend has two younger brothers, neither of whom are married or thinking about getting engaged anytime soon.
“She showed me the ring, and it’s not my taste. It’s an oval blue topaz ring with a flowery, spiked type of border around it. The closest I can compare it to is a Victoria cluster ring, and it’s sort of a rose gold color,” she explained.
When her boyfriend’s grandma offered her the ring, she was stunned. Since she wasn’t a fan of the ring, she explained that her ring was gorgeous, but they were still looking at rings to find the perfect one.
After arriving home, she expressed to her boyfriend that while she’d been honest about his grandma’s ring being gorgeous, it wasn’t her style. Her boyfriend accepted her feelings and told her he’d have a chat with his grandma.
Later, during a family dinner, her boyfriend told his grandma that she didn’t want the ring since it wasn’t her style. She received numerous texts from her boyfriend’s brothers’ girlfriends, who accused her of being cruel for rejecting the ring. They added that their grandma was incredibly old, so she should have done what their grandma wanted before she passed away.
hitdelight – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
Luckily, her boyfriend stood up for her, and his grandma didn’t chime in. When she told her mother and sister what happened, her mom took her side, but her sister told her to agree to take the ring, pointing out that she didn’t have to wear it when his grandma wasn’t around.
In her view, it would be unethical to take the ring since she didn’t want to wear it in the first place. However, she acknowledged that her boyfriend’s grandmother is a great person.
She believed that it would be more impolite to take the ring simply because his grandma was elderly and not because she truly loved the ring. Upon reflection, it could sadden her boyfriend’s grandma if she accepted the ring but wore another ring instead.
“I would think she’d want to keep the ring in her family since it has been passed down her maternal side. I also feel like I will be wearing my engagement ring, so I should choose what it should look like. I have had this ring cut in my head since I was young,” she shared.
She hoped to have a discussion with her boyfriend’s grandma and further explain why she didn’t take the ring, and when she asked her boyfriend what he thought, he told her it was a good plan but advised that she wait a couple of days.
Because she already knew what item she’d wear as “something old,” she wondered if she could incorporate the ring as “something blue” or “something borrowed.” She hoped her boyfriend’s grandmother would appreciate her wearing the ring during the wedding ceremony.
A few days later, she and her boyfriend had breakfast with his grandma, and she explained her idea. His grandma was thrilled and accepted her perspective, saying they should do what they wanted for their wedding and engagement. Then, his grandmother told her that her idea of wearing her ring during the ceremony was more generous than anything her boyfriend’s brothers’ girlfriends had done.
As they talked, his grandma requested that she wear the ring on her right hand and keep it after the wedding so that the ring could continue passing down through the family. She loved this idea and agreed to follow through with these requests, adding that she’d wear the ring during family gatherings.
Her boyfriend’s grandma was so grateful that she’d be able to see the ring after she passed it down that she sobbed and gave her a hug. She was relieved that the issue was resolved and that everyone was happy.
What would you have done if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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