She Doesn’t Want To Host Her Cousin’s Wedding On Her Property Anymore Because Her Cousin Didn’t Listen To Her Rules And Planned A Much Larger Guest List Than Expected
Not long ago, this 24-year-old woman married her now-husband, 28. A year before their wedding, they bought their first house together. They repaired the home, which was expensive and took tons of time, effort, and strategic planning.
Now, they’ve made it into the house of their dreams. It’s a refuge and a house they want to hopefully live in for their entire lives.
A while ago, her 33-year-old cousin got engaged and plans to have her wedding later this year. She and her cousin have never had a close bond and have nearly completely opposite personality traits. Her father and her cousin’s father are brothers, and their families are incredibly close.
Her cousin and her cousin’s fiancé still both live at home with their parents. Until recently, her cousin was in nursing school, but she dropped out and hasn’t had a job. Her cousin’s fiancé has a job, and while she isn’t sure what he earns, judging by his job title, he makes an average salary. Despite this, her cousin and her fiancé hope to have a massive, fancy wedding.
Even though she has her own views about her cousin’s wedding plans, she hasn’t shared her thoughts publicly because she knows it’s none of her business. It’s her cousin and her fiancé’s wedding, and they can choose to live how they want.
She told her cousin congratulations after she and her fiancé got engaged. However, she has a problem with the assumption that family members should feel obligated to pitch in.
“I eloped with my husband, and while we didn’t have a public wedding, we did throw an intimate reception on our new property. We live in a very quiet, scenic, rural area on a small acreage. It is private and thoughtfully landscaped. We have a natural pond, and our property is surrounded by the woods. We chose not to disturb the land around us too much,” she said.
Because she and her husband didn’t cut down any trees or alter much of the land on their property, some of their property is technically in the woods. Since so much of their property is within the woods, there isn’t too much land to work with for events or gatherings.
It was a beautiful venue for her and her husband’s tiny wedding reception, but it wouldn’t provide enough space for her cousin’s huge reception because she wanted to invite more than 80 guests.
Krakenimages.com – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Before she learned how many people her cousin planned to invite, she thought she’d see what her cousin was planning. She assumed that her cousin would have a smaller wedding reception similar to hers.
So, she asked her cousin to come to her house to explain the details of her own reception to give her an idea of what to expect.
“I gave her kind of an outline she could use, including all the catering, decor, and florists (I made her a meticulous package on Google Docs and shared it with her). She seemed to agree with everything I was saying with a smile,” she explained.
During their conversation, she told her cousin that her husband would be gone for the next three weeks, and she’d be away for a week, too, but she assured her cousin that she could still come over to her house for wedding planning if needed, requesting that she just let her know ahead of time.
She and her husband take trips often, so they’ve given her mother keys to their home in case of emergency. Later, her mother sent her a text to ask if her cousin could go over to her house with someone whom she’d hired to help with outdoor seating arrangements.
In response, she asked her mother to be at the house to supervise and that, under this stipulation, she’d allow it.
Before her cousin and the person she hired went to her house, her mother informed her about her cousin’s lengthy guest list.
Also, her cousin wanted to hold the reception inside the house, even though she’d told her cousin when they got together in person that this would be prohibited. She’d also written this in the Google Doc she shared with her cousin.
“My mom told her she cannot tour with the organizer inside the home– that the owners have not given permission. This upset my cousin. When the organizers left, she became very upset and stormed out on bad terms. Her mother then called my mother to complain ruthlessly about me. I just got back today, and I’m told I’m being accused of being ‘spoiled, ‘selfish,’ and ‘small’-hearted,'” she shared.
In her view, these insults are unfair. When she told her husband about the drama with her cousin, he said her cousin and her cousin’s family were rude to her, and because of their behavior, they shouldn’t be allowed to have their wedding reception at their house anymore.
Even though she knows this will complicate wedding planning for her cousin, she doesn’t think it would be her fault since her cousin disrespected the rules she set.
Her cousin suggested that she minimize her guest list, but she doesn’t think this will help because she no longer trusts her cousin. She doesn’t want to offer up her house to people who are so cruel and rude to her.
Making her extended family happy doesn’t feel worth it to her. Since her cousin already didn’t follow her rules, she doesn’t trust that this would change.
She believes that her cousin was never going to follow her rules and hid this so that she’d allow her to have her reception at her house.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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