His Wife Said She’s Leaving Him, But They’re On Vacation With Their Children Right Now
The hardest part of a breakup isn’t always the end itself; it’s how to handle the in-between. And when one partner has already checked out, that leaves the other left holding the weight of love, loyalty, and the fear of tearing the family apart.
That’s exactly where one man finds himself after 25 years of marriage: stuck on a family vacation with his wife, who’s already told him she wants a divorce, while their kids sense something is unraveling. Now he’s torn between keeping up appearances or facing the heartbreak head-on.
For the last 25 years, this 47-year-old man has been married to his 47-year-old wife. While they have seen their fair share of highs and lows like any normal couple, they have always managed to find a path forward, together.
They have three children: a 16-year-old son, an 18-year-old daughter, and a 22-year-old daughter. Their girls are in college and live in an apartment with one another.
He’s mainly been the one there for the kids, as his wife has had some challenges over the years that have taken up a lot of her time.
His wife has battled feeling confident in herself and landing a job she can tolerate. On the weekends, she binge drinks, and he can admit he’s been an enabler there.
Often, his wife’s drinking gets so out of control that the following morning, she cannot recall what happened the day before.
“Whether it was our house, the car she drives, her hair, her eyes (she wears color contacts), she’s always searching for happiness that she can’t find,” he explained.
“With the girls out of the house, it’s definitely midlife crisis (which I guess I’m facing now as well). She’s never cheated (that I know of), but she did have an emotional affair about 15 years ago, but we went to counseling, and the counselor basically told us our friendship is amazing and worth fighting for.”
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“10 days ago, she comes home, tells me she ‘loves me but is not in love with me’ and we’re getting a divorce. She says she can’t find happiness with me, not sure if she can without, but she wants to try.”
Making it even uglier, his wife stated she never found him attractive, and she drinks so heavily because that’s the sole way she can manage to sleep with him.
She asked if they could stay friends while divorcing in the least dramatic way. He pleaded with his wife to try couples counseling with him before making any permanent decisions.
He adores his wife, and he can’t picture her being with a man who isn’t him. He knows they have a meaningful bond, even if she can’t quite see it at the moment.
His wife did say she would try counseling with him, but she insisted it would not make her want to stay with him since she has already made up her mind about that.
“Mentally, she’s already moved on, and I suspect she might be looking for new guys to talk to, though she still sleeps in the same bed, hangs out with me on weekends, and wears my wedding ring,” he added.
“This week, we’re on our traditional final week of summer vacation, just arrived yesterday. My wife is here. The kids know something is wrong. I’m a wreck, can’t sleep, emotions everywhere, and still waking up next to the woman I love who doesn’t love me the same way.”
“I’m hurting, bad. I’ve been talking with friends and some of my family to keep my sanity, and plan to start counseling (I was set up with someone, and they changed their schedule, so I couldn’t see them anymore before I even had my first visit). We were waiting for counseling to talk with the kids, I guess I’m hoping for a miracle that probably isn’t coming.”
He and his wife got into a heated chat yesterday evening, and he’s pretty convinced their daughters overheard it all and realized his wife is leaving him no matter what.
His wife thinks it’s possible for them to exist alongside one another for the rest of the week while they’re still on vacation with the kids, but he hates living in a lie.
He’s left wondering if he should tell the kids the truth, pack up and go home alone, or sit there by himself and sob.
What advice do you have for him?
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