She Wants A Prenup To Protect Her Finances Because Her Boyfriend Keeps Supporting His Self-Destructive Sister
This 25-year-old woman and her boyfriend, 27, have been in a relationship for two years and have started talking about getting married. She told him she wanted to draft a prenuptial agreement during these conversations.
At first, her boyfriend was comfortable signing a prenup, and when he asked why she needed one, she explained that it was because of his sister.
A year ago, her boyfriend’s sister was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Over the years, his sister has received other diagnoses like bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression.
She doesn’t know if this will be the last disorder that his sister will be diagnosed with, but from her perspective, this most recent diagnosis seems accurate.
“His sister self-destructs her own life and is very volatile. She has quit a job on a dime because a boss reminded her not to be late (she was late by over 20 minutes), so she quit after breaking dishes,” she said.
Usually, she wouldn’t have to worry about her boyfriend’s sister, but he and his family believe that since he’s the older brother, it’s his obligation to support his sister when needed. On several occasions, he’s paid his sister’s rent and purchased a car for her when she was unhoused.
In the prenup terms, she wanted to include an obligatory savings account into which she and her boyfriend would pay a percentage of their salary, and neither of them would have access to that money. Plus, she would expect her boyfriend to contribute to some of their monthly expenses, and he’d be required to pay into this joint savings account.
She came up with this idea because she predicted that otherwise, her boyfriend would deplete his savings and ask her for money to go toward his sister. Right now, he doesn’t have any money saved up. If he was ever seriously ill and temporarily unable to work, she would have to financially support him.
“I do feel like his sister is an anchor, and I want a prenup structured to make sure he has to save some of his money and pay his bills, so he doesn’t just spend all his money on her,” she explained.
Look! – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
A prenup could be a strategic way for her to plan ahead so that she doesn’t wind up in a situation where she’s expected to pay all her and her boyfriend’s bills. She wants him to financially contribute just as much as she does.
Even though they aren’t engaged or married yet, she’s concerned their future marriage won’t last, and she wants a prenup in place if they divorce so that her boyfriend’s financial decisions won’t negatively impact their future kids.
Unfortunately, her boyfriend was upset with her concerns about how much he financially supports his sister.
“He thinks if I’m marrying him, his sister is now my sister, and I should be happy to help her. I told him I’m not, and he can help her after his bills are paid and he has savings, but otherwise, I don’t want anything to do with her,” she shared.
She’s been around her boyfriend’s sister numerous times, and it seemed to her like his sister wasn’t sober over half the times she saw her. He told her she was a jerk for refusing to sign up to support his sister financially.
Plus, he was angry that the prenuptial terms were to stop him from spending all of his money on his sister. So far, he’s given his sister thousands already, and she doesn’t think his sister will become financially stable anytime soon.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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