He Admitted To His Coworker He Won’t Date Her Because Of Her “Unbearable” Kid

This man is a widower with a 7-year-old child. Since the passing of his wife, he’s dated single mothers and wouldn’t be opposed to doing so again. He’s worked with a woman named Pam for about two years, and she’s wonderful, attractive, and a great employee.
Throughout the time he’s known her, he’s grown to appreciate her as a co-worker and considered her a friend. Pam divorced her now ex-husband a year ago, and she’s dived into the dating scene over the past several months but hasn’t been in any committed relationships yet.
“The problem is her son, 13, is unbearable to me. It’s hard to say how much is his fault as he does have Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and I suspect some other things as well,” he said.
Pam’s son constantly throws fits one would normally see in a child significantly younger. Her son’s school has suspended him on numerous occasions.
During these suspensions, Pam has had to bring her son to work with him and watch him during her shifts. Unfortunately, her son manages to cause problems at the workplace, too.
“As far as non-predators go, he’s the worst kid I’ve ever been around. About a month ago, we were at a work function, and dating came up, and she asked me if I was seeing anybody,” he explained.
He responded that he wasn’t dating anyone at the moment, and when Pam suggested that they date since they have such a great connection, he explained that he doesn’t feel comfortable dating co-workers.
Initially, Pam accepted his response, but later, she rationalized that several of their co-workers met at their workplace and started successful relationships with one another.
Since he and Pam don’t work in the same department or on the same floor, they don’t work closely together or run into one another daily.

Rido – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
While he still sees Pam fairly often at work, his concern about dating her had nothing to do with the fallout if a relationship with a co-worker didn’t work out. He didn’t want to tell her the real reason he didn’t want to go out with her was her son and his horrible behavior.
Last week, the weather was glorious in their town. Two days ago, their management allowed employees to leave an hour early to soak up the sun, so he and several of his co-workers hung out at an establishment next door to their company. Pam was at the work hangout, and while chatting with him, she broached the topic of dating again.
When he provided the same reasoning as during their last conversation about dating, that he wouldn’t date a co-worker, she pressed and prodded, claiming she didn’t think he was honest about why he didn’t want to go out with her.
Pam questioned if he was uncomfortable going out with other single parents, and he assured her that that wasn’t the case.
“She kept pushing, and I was honest that her kid was too much. Not that I don’t think I could ‘handle’ a tough kid, but I have no desire to put up with that for a kid who’s not mine,” he shared.
From the research he’s done on ODD, it sounds like a lifelong diagnosis. He has no interest in getting himself and his child in a situation involving a child like that. Pam was furious with his views and yelled at him for bringing her child into the conversation, and she walked out minutes later.
The following day, he worked remotely and reflected on the discussion with Pam. He felt bad with how he worded things and wondered if he should say sorry. On the other hand, he pondered about not apologizing and pretending that nothing had happened.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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