Abby Connolly
Fighting with your partner or spouse over money-related issues is one of the most stressful experiences one can have in a relationship.
One man recently blurted out an intense comment to his wife at a family dinner because they’ve been arguing over money, and now he wonders if he is a bad person because of it.
He and his wife Jen are both 32 and have been married for seven years. Unfortunately, they’ve been living in financial distress for the past two years.
Although they’re both underpaid at work, they wanted to start preparing to have a family, so they moved into a three-bedroom house in a neighborhood where the cost of living is very high.
On top of everything, the last two years brought them bad luck, including a car accident and a few family emergencies, which didn’t help their financial situation.
“Last December, I told Jen one of two things needed to happen: We either sell the house or start making more money,” he said.
“The latter would most definitely mean finding new jobs that would pay us a market rate. Jen pushed back on this because she loved the house and her current job. I told her she had to choose one and couldn’t have it both ways, and after a week of arguing, she agreed we would look for new jobs. It’s been almost six months now. Last Friday, I signed an offer for a new job. It’s over a $35,000 raise for me. Jen, however, has done nothing.”
At the start of the year, the only effort Jen made job-wise was to ask for a raise from her manager, who immediately turned her down. She had the opportunity to leave her job and find a better one, but she chose to stay put and hasn’t done anything since.
When he told Jen about his new job, they argued because he clarified that he still expected her to find one herself. After all, if they didn’t bring in a lot more money, hardly anything would go into their 401ks, and kids would be off the table.
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